2010

What I'll remember about 2010. (Well at least the good stuff!)

The Music.

The People.

The Smiling and the Breaking Down.

My Brother Aditya's Awesomeness.

The Music I Made with Namit.

Times spent with Tulika Gupta.

Annoying Aanchul Lalla. :)

Making new friends like Aditi Shenvi and Laura Aksika and getting in touch with old ones like Pranav Dixit.

The Darkness and The Light and this City in between, showing us the best of both worlds.

You know what? Fuck it. 2010, I have no complaints. You were everything I could've wanted and more. Thank You.

New Song Lyrics.

Here's the Song:

http://soundcloud.com/aakashmehta/newsongdemo

Here are the lyrics!

A Music making entity that lived inside a cave,

Discovered accidentally that he was very brave,

He walked up to the army man and asked him for his gun,

The rest is all but history for what is done is done.

He then looked to humanity but found it very strange,

He looked at all his idols, one by they had to change.

So Music Making Entity went out to look for you,

Went walking incidentally to Mrs. Marry Stew,

she took him by the collar then and almost made him cry,

But Music Making Entity was not that kind of guy,

He told her he had work to do and he could not be late,

and Mrs. Stew's shananagance was slow at any rate.

So Music Making Entity set out to look again,

He looked across the valley and inside the tiger's den.

But every clue he found was round and did not point to you,

And Dear Mr. Entity had started feeling blue...

So Music Making entity sat down and wrote a song,

Left him feeling good again and left him feeling strong,

He got back up to look for you just as he does today,

Sitting every now and then to write a song or pray,

And children love to come to see and smile even wave,

at the Music Making Entity that lived inside a cave.

A herculean task

T'was a moment of raw inspiration and appreciation of the Divine that produced what I wrote below...

Tis truly a herculean task,

To try and put into words certain thoughts...

What sounds profound initially is soon realised to be sub-standard. And is thrown away without a second thought...

Such is writing a song for me.

For when I am connected to thee, I can conquer even the greatest trials set before me. But when our bond is broken, I can but barely even speak a rhyme or sing a tune without the feeling of great purposeless emptiness... I struggle to find the light once again but realise soon that it is not my place to decide when we meet deep inside one another. It is thy will that I shall obey. Thy direction that I shall follow. For thou art my Sheppard. And thou shall lead me to the light oh lord. Thou shall lead me to the light.

PS: Special Thanks to Akshata Kahnolkar for being there at the right point of time to catch the words as they came spilling out! :)

Cold Dark Night Demo Lyrics

So here are the lyrics for Cold Dark Night! Not a lot of them since it's still the Demo. But I'll have more soon!

It's the feeling of a dam breaking,

The Villagers never had a chance.

So fast and all embracing,

I'm left alone in this expanse.

You come up and say,

"Just a little more, it'll be alright"

But the Promise of the day,

Won't take away he cold of night.

[Chorus]

You Sit there,

Breathing,

Waiting for the sun to come.

While water's,

Seeping,

Into everything you've done.

(Repeat first to verses)

The Song:

http://soundcloud.com/aakashmehta/colddarknight

You can't download this version but do lemme know if you'd like a copy. :)

Mr. Man Lyrics

Here are the lyrics for people that wanted to see!

Mr. Man,

Why you walkin' by?

Won't you come sit down and listen,

Oh, won't you come and try.

Sing along,

Even though it's a different kind of song,

It might just make you happy,

Make you smile and pass it on.

N I said Hey!

Everything's Ok!

Cause you and I are singing,

It feels like the month of may,

N I said Hey!

Everything's Ok!

Cause you and I are singing,

it feels like the month of May!

Here I am,

Just playin tunes,

I'll be here and I'll be singin'

From evening through noon.

Come on down,

Come any time you like,

Cause we don't need no speakers,

Brother we don't need no mic.

N I said Hey! ....

So Fickle.

~Yeh Kya Bol Raha Hai?

For the past few months I've been studying World History for my SAT Subject Tests and while I was studying I figured something out. This is probably just something someone out there's been thinking through and through, and I'm a sure a few buggers will say "Haan toh? I've heard/thought of it all before", but that hardly matters. I think it's time that I say what's been on my mind for some time now.

Religion, as I've learnt, has changed. It's changed a lot. I'm not going to go into the details of how. Wikipedia will tell you that.

What caught my attention was how easily it changed. If you read through world history you'll realize that every few hundred years, you either have a new religion springing up somewhere or an old religion getting altered a little to fit the place, people and time.

Christianity readily adopted pagan holidays and traditions to ease the transition of people into Christianity. In Japan, when Buddhism was adopted, it was eventually mixed with Shinto, the native religion of the Japanese. Hinduism is another example. Hindus believe that the Cow is a sacred animal purely because when that particular rule was made up, Cows were the most important commodity around.

It sounds harsh but in all honesty, it's true. And it makes me wonder really hard whether religion is the path to salvation or just something to give you that feel good factor.

Think about it, and you might come to the kind of conclusion that I came to.

Religion is like the security at a Mall or a 5 Star Hotel in Mumbai (at least). The security isn't even close to being able to keep a man with a gun/bomb out. It's just there to give the people going in a False Sense of Safety. An Assurance that can not be fulfilled. Rituals are the same. How can God be won over by offerings and chants? If it really was that easy, the effects would be evident. We are such fools to believe that the path to salvation is as superficial as this. May be we never knew better. May be we just chose to ignore all the facts.

Most of us can't really help it now can we? Religion gives us a high. Makes us feel better about things in general. Makes it all a little more bearable. Religion is a lie. A lie many of believe in purely because we have nothing else to hold us up.

~Break that glass wall down.

See, religion answers questions the way a parent would answer the questions of a child. It's horribly dimwitted. Take free will for example. We all have Free Will. But if we don't live according to the outlines that GOD has provided us with, we're gonna go to hell. It's like God's telling us to pick and colour as long as it's Red. Reality doesn't work that way!

Question the answers you're given by religion and you'll come to a point where the false sense of logic that religion brings just breaks. You don't even have to go to blurry fields like Metaphysics. Very simple questions do the trick.

Example:

Sindhi's can't eat meat on Tuesdays. Why? Because Tuesday is Bhagvaan ka din. (God's day). Why is Tuesday Bhagvaan ka din? Well folks! Here's where the long story comes into play! If you're lucky, you won't get an answer at all.

One More:

How does the Ramayan make any sense at all? Talking Monkeys? A Monkey God that could change sizes and fly mountains around? Come on! I've asked a few Sants about this and they've told me that it was a "Yug" (Age) where animals could talk.

What? How does that make sense? Well it doesn't. The Logic breaks. It makes no sense. And I will not buy it.

Religion is a fickle thing. The cheapest, most abundant High. The easiest lie. One that will not die.

Religion is a fickle thing. And I know better than to care much for it.

But enough for now.

I think I'll talk about the Harsh Realities soon.

Explanations.

It's the feeling of a dam breaking.
The villagers never had a chance.
It's fast and all-encompassing. It's painful and exhausting.
You're too empty to fill yourself with happiness.
Whatever little happiness you get is like cotton burnt at night in order to keep yourself warm.
It's burnt in small amounts and it's burnt fast. It doesn't last.
The emptiness fills in with so many negative emotions, attracted by the depth of the whole you have inside.
Nothing cuts it. Nothing numbs it out.
Like water on a page full of letters your emotional state blurs you view of things.
Actions slow and function ceases to be.
You're stuck, alone and scared.
And everything that people say is mere bullshit.
Because they don't get it. They just don't get it.
And everything you say is meaningless. It's pointless and makes no sense whatsoever.
Because of the reasons mentioned before you're done for.
You’re in a ditch only you can claw yourself out of.
But you're so tired.
So fucking tired.
You eyes will barely stay open.
But every time you close them the thoughts and visions come out of hiding, stronger every time.
The music you listen to only helps to keep you alive and breathing. A mere distraction from what's really going on inside.
Every now and then your feet brush the edge of the pit inside of you and the ditch you're in seems that much bigger and tougher to get out of.
What do you do when this happens? How does "Just Get Out Of It." or "Don't Worry, it’ll all be ok!" help here? Why can't they just say something that'll help? Am I that undeserving?
Is that what I've achieved? Is that what everything I've done has amounted to?
I'm alone and afraid and there's no one. No One.
I've lost again.
Just like I've always lost.
I've always lost.
And ditch gets deeper...

Function.

Just a thought that crossed my mind for those that worry about me so much...


It matters not to the world whether we smile or weep in the confines of our room with our doors and windows shut, curtains drawn. The world will not remember and look up to a happy or content man but will instead have a man of consequence, of action etched into their memories. Good or Bad, action is what matters. Results are what matter. Happiness is too impractical a goal to desire, Effectiveness is what's worth aiming for. The greatest level of Contentment isn't enough to win the world, hat of Productivity is. So fear not when I do not smile or laugh with joy. Because I Function. And I could ask for nothing more. :)

Dreams.

Mr. E from the Eels managed to write an entire song about the Trouble with dreams.
I can only come up with a blog entry...

I'm A Dreamer. A Full-On Dreamer. The Kind of guy that's all optimistic and reved up about his dreams all the time. Thing is, sometimes, just sometimes, all that energy is just sucked out of you. So I sit and write it all out here. Hoping to get, if nothing else, a medium to vent out all the bad and make space for new hope and faith and strength to keep going.

Imagine a building. Like a 5 Story Building. With Operational offices on the top floor. With A Game Room, a few TT Tables, Basket Ball Court, Maybe a Pool. Imagine classrooms and a computer labs where kids can come and learn new things for a minimal charge if not for free. Imagine one in every area of every city/town/village in the country.

That's what For A Revolution should become. But that's my dream.

And it's hard to make your dream someone else's dream.

It's hard to make someone like/post/comment on something on the FAR Fan Page even though it's easy for them to do all of those for most every other page on the same website.
Of course, they'll argue that they don't comment everywhere, they just 'Like' the pages. But they're completely missing the point aren't they?

It's hard to make someone take a little time out of their schedule to come work towards something that'll probably make a kid say "Hey! That makes sense!" in a world when senselessness is the norm and the 'in' thing. But then time can only be given for one's own dreams.

I don't even know why I'm saying all this. I'd rather not complain but then I'm just as angry as I am upset about this all. Ha. Ah well...

I guess I'll do it all myself. After all, it's my dream right?

A Compatritive Study

I thought I'd do a little comparative study of two types of 'Problems' and their respective 'Treatments'. I prefer One to the other. Guess which one and Win A Prize!


Diagnoses X By Orthopedist:
Great Muscular Pain and Possible Shifting of Disc in Back.

Diagnoses Y By Astrologer:
Negative Thinking, Bad Health Stuff and Being A Pain To My Mom By The Astrologer.

Treatment X : Bed Rest.

Treatment Y : A Little 'Moti' Round My Neck

Recovery Time for Treatment X : 1-2 Weeks and then Another Week of not exercising.

Recovery Time for Treatment Y : Effects will be seen in two to three Days.

Tests Involved for X : MRI, EKG and one more thing that involved me getting Shocked.

Tests Involved for Y : Some 'Kundli' and Star-chart Analysis.

Total Cost Of X : Rs.35,000 (Thank GOD For Medical Insurance!)

Total Cost Of Y : Rs.0 (But it seems that I'll have to give the astrologer a % of the money I make when I grow up. Which, as it seems, there will be a lot of.)

Click!!!!

I've been been able to do this before! I don't know how much sense it'll make but hey! I did it! All credit goes to my friend Akshata though!!!

A:
DUDE!
It happened!
After so motherfucking long!!!
Things Clicked!!!
Things clicked man!
You know....
Once in a thousand years...
Nay, In a billion years...
It happens. Things click, everything from the recent past joins in together and it fills up the cup.
Man!
Listen to I become I!
And No!
It isn't pleasure...
It's bitter sweet...
Very...
It's all uncertain and it's scary!
But things clicked!
It's VERY Lovely!
Beautiful!

Ak:
like what?

A:
Like...
Like a fist fight!
Like Fate!
Like a song when you really really need one!
It flows through you and you don't even realize cause you're too busy grooving to the beat...
Then, before you realize it, it glows to the beat right through you're veins...
Sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes red...
Any colour and every colour...
You stop caring about it all...
You're not even in yourself anymore.
You're outside...
And you're floating away from yourself...
You realize that you can't see the future. It's uncertain and it's scary. The ground you're grooving on presently is shaky,.
But you don't care about yourself anymore.
You're too taken by the beauty of the situation.
All those things that mattered once become minute. They become negligible.
You feel like as long as the beat keeps playing you can stay where you are
Suspended between then and now.
Between real and unreal.
Fact and fiction. Possible and impossible.
And your body's still grooving.
You're body doesn't stop grooving to that beat.
The music keeps playing!!!
As you float away you realize the past!
And you see how it's all been building up to this.
Every minute event has been leading to this one event,.
Not just events with slight connections, no! Major connections!!!
All the while you can feel your body grooving. And I swear to the lord above that that's the best god damn feeling in the world!
And then...
there you are...
With a smile that refuses to wear off.
Unafraid and full of joy!
So connected to the divine!
Until finally...
Slowly, and peacefully...
The music fades away...
And you slip back in.
You're back home.
A small smile on your face tells of what has just happens but other than that...
Nothing!
And all you can say to your friends after it all is Nothing... Nothing at All...


Thank You Akshata! If I hadn’t been chatting with you, I wouldn’t have been able to put it all into words!

Middle of the night...

I'm watching movies, writing, reading and composing in the middle of the night. I'm drinking back coffee with just sugar inside and I'm breathing in passive smoke from my neighbor that secretly smokes every night. I'm working on a dream. I'm finishing past projects. I'm making progress. I'm working real hard and I'm feeling real good. Well... At least while I work...
Otherwise...
Well otherwise I just end up feeling like shit...
Ha! Funny...
Life's funny that way. At least for me...

Frustration

It's funny how you get irritated man. How frustration sets in. Why it sets in. It feels like it's a different reason every friggin time...
Situations change...
Hmmm...
Or do they?
Naah...
They don't! No seriously... They don't.

I mean just think about it. The similarities between our problems back then and our problems right now are so simple and evident. The scary math test in 1st grade is the scary math test in 8th or 10th or 11th grade. Yes, addition's been replaced with trigonometry. But it's still the same situation. The 10th grade boards are as tough as the 12th grade boards and even though you think that your 5th grade social sciences portion was easy when you look back today, it wasn't back then. It was as challenging to you then as this year's portion is now.

And it doesn't just work with education. You would argue about which superhero is the strongest. Well now it's football players or actors or politicians or musicians isn't it? Your parents were always over-protective of you, but you didn't really realize it and start hating it till you were older. The situations are, in a certain way, the same. It's just the way we react to them that changes.

Boys scrape their knees and cry but Men do not. Our parents and older relatives had the WWII, The Independence Struggle and Y2K to worry about. We have Terrorism and Global Warming. We've both faced potentially world-ending problems and how we act now will determine the outcome.

In a way, not even 'how much' is wrong with life changes. Just that different things become a bother. It comes with maturity. Comes with growth. One goes from being upset because they do not understand the nature of something to being upset because they do not accept it. The problems are, in some sense, the same.

So what do you do? How do you take care of this oh-so-unchangeable way of the world?

Nothing!
No point in trying to change it now is there? Just go with the flow, just take every issue as it comes.

You sure as hell can't decide the cards you're dealt, but how you play them is totally up to you...

Randomity

So I just got the new PC a few days ago...
And I got FL studio on it as well...
What happens if I can't sleep and I have that combination in my room?

Well here it is...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WWLHANBZ

Best day EVER!

Been studying for SAT lately...
A hopeless effort really...
Still screwing up a lot of stuff...
So I've been all stressed and shit bec of SAT man... And it wasn't really getting any better. But today, it did.
Got up Aram se... Slept in till 9AM. Not much, I know, but it felt really good...
Anyway, I got up and went back to bed... Then got up and had a nice conversation...
Had breakfast and then watched Afro Samurai on my Pc...
Did a SAT paper and then did some SAT vocab...

The day was progressing decently...
But Then It go Better!
Met an old friend you know!
Though pissing off, the encounter, for the most part, was a positive one...
So since exams are starting this week in college and in SAT classes, It's gonna be hell...
I told Ma that I needed something to help me relieve stress, a computer game...
She understood this poor fat guy's plight and so she agreed.
So...
We went to crossword to pick it up...
The plan was to go to crossword, pick up the cd, got to meet my Buddy Meet at Bhatia Hospital to meet his uncle (The lift in his building fell 5 floor with his uncle in it, ouch? Most definitely.) and then go play pool but since Aum Bhai cancled I was just gonna go back home.
But!
Fate had other plans!
I went to Crossword and they didn't have anything good...
So post-hospital visit, Meet and I went over to Rythm House at Kala Ghoda to buy something, found Dragon Age Origins picked it up (Even though Falak was gonna give me a copy the "Save Game Development Studios" Guy inside me rose up and made me buy it)...
Then I had an Idea...
Called up Aum Bhai and told him to come for dinner...
Went to Cafe Samovar (In Jehangir Art Gallery, Ah! Memories of Omlet and Tea with Azad!) but it was closed. Went to Ayubs but it was closed...
So Meet and I started roaming about. Went yahan wahan and ended up in 'Khao Galli' near the Income Tax Office. Ate a Jumbo King there...
Then we went to Stadium Restaurant where Meet had Some Egg Bhurji. I had a little of course... Then we were off to Tea Centre next door. Had some fantastic tea and then went to Spice rush across the street for dinner with Aum Bhai...
Now I had picked up the Jack Johnson En Concert at Rythm House and since there was no Music playing at Spice Rush I asked them to play it...
Dinner with most of the guys with Jack Johnson Live! Wah! Dude! I'm telling you! Nothing like That to get you nice and chilled!
Then we walked to marine drive and chilled for a bit... I put on the old "Aakash Baba" speech for the guys...
Watched a random street performer who was way better than most of the guys on the big AND little screen today...
Walked till after the Metro wala bridge...
Jumped Aum Bhai and Tackled him to the ground...
Yes, it was on of the highlights...
Finally, while coming home I got a free Vada from the hawker near Shripati...
Dude...
Best Day EVER!!!


PS: Sorry for the hoch-poch-ness! Wrote it all in bits and pieces...

Simple Translations...

The following is something I ended up writing in Hindi...
But I don't really know how to type in Hindi on a computer...
So this is kind of a rough translation...
Though I must say that that no matter how hard I try, the richness of Hindi can't be duplicated in English...
At least by me...

So what's the difference? You know... The difference between the two of us... Between you and I. What makes us so different? I mean... Look at you... You're phenomenal. And it's so evident. The way the words flow out of you... The way you're able to push through the bullshit come up with something so raw and fantastic without the least bit of effort...
Or at least that's how you make it seem. But I'm pretty sure that that's the way it is. Isn't it? I was just reading something you wrote the other day and I honestly can't believe how effortlessly you do it. I mean... Think about it...

It's like we're on opposite sides of some weird sort of scale.

One one end, you stand there, not above the rest of us, no. That isn't you. But on a different plane altogether. A messiah of sorts. Leading the way and showing us light were there is none. Often, with those excellently placed (music)notes you pick us all up a little. But just enough to leave a bit of us on the ground. Gently letting us down a little later so as to remind us that we're all just the same. To remind us that we're human. To keep us humble.

On the other end, I stand in the middle of oh so much. Confused but not disheartened at the situation I'm in. An ocean of thoughts and words and notes and sounds inside me all yearning to be let out. But where you prevail so flawlessly, I trip and stumble horribly! It's a battle to give physical form to the impulses inside me. A resistance of sorts holds me back. Makes it difficult for me to express them. Often, when I am successful in creating some sort of output it is often distorted and changed due to that resistance.

You stand there and smile as I tell you this, mainly because you know what I'm going through. In all probability, it is because you've been through the same. But maybe it's because you find it amusing that someone could actually have so much trouble in getting something that is so natural to you done.

*Sigh*
But what can I do? What is, is.

What helped you get through it?
What helped you break through and break free from it all? Maybe it's the fact that you've been at it for much longer than I have. But for some reason I find that argument unacceptable. I don't know why. But my gut tells me that it has nothing to do with how long you've been around. It has lots to do about how deep you've gotten within yourself. How much of yourself you've uncovered.

Something tells me that there's a lot more in us all... And that the deeper we'll go, the more we'll realize how connected to it all we are. To the stars and the moon and the clouds and the trees. To each other and to ourselves. Just imagine...
On a subconscious level, we're all connected. And those connections, from what I gather, are those notes and sounds and words. Yes! Your notes and your sounds and your words!

If you can see them, then why can't I? Don't get me wrong, I know that they're there. But I just can't see them. And even if I do manage to do so, will I really be able to bring it through to the outside world? To this physical realm? I really don't know...

And so till I do know, I shall simply have to do with what you see. What you give out to the world. What you make Good Sir. Whatever you make.