Function.

Just a thought that crossed my mind for those that worry about me so much...


It matters not to the world whether we smile or weep in the confines of our room with our doors and windows shut, curtains drawn. The world will not remember and look up to a happy or content man but will instead have a man of consequence, of action etched into their memories. Good or Bad, action is what matters. Results are what matter. Happiness is too impractical a goal to desire, Effectiveness is what's worth aiming for. The greatest level of Contentment isn't enough to win the world, hat of Productivity is. So fear not when I do not smile or laugh with joy. Because I Function. And I could ask for nothing more. :)

Dreams.

Mr. E from the Eels managed to write an entire song about the Trouble with dreams.
I can only come up with a blog entry...

I'm A Dreamer. A Full-On Dreamer. The Kind of guy that's all optimistic and reved up about his dreams all the time. Thing is, sometimes, just sometimes, all that energy is just sucked out of you. So I sit and write it all out here. Hoping to get, if nothing else, a medium to vent out all the bad and make space for new hope and faith and strength to keep going.

Imagine a building. Like a 5 Story Building. With Operational offices on the top floor. With A Game Room, a few TT Tables, Basket Ball Court, Maybe a Pool. Imagine classrooms and a computer labs where kids can come and learn new things for a minimal charge if not for free. Imagine one in every area of every city/town/village in the country.

That's what For A Revolution should become. But that's my dream.

And it's hard to make your dream someone else's dream.

It's hard to make someone like/post/comment on something on the FAR Fan Page even though it's easy for them to do all of those for most every other page on the same website.
Of course, they'll argue that they don't comment everywhere, they just 'Like' the pages. But they're completely missing the point aren't they?

It's hard to make someone take a little time out of their schedule to come work towards something that'll probably make a kid say "Hey! That makes sense!" in a world when senselessness is the norm and the 'in' thing. But then time can only be given for one's own dreams.

I don't even know why I'm saying all this. I'd rather not complain but then I'm just as angry as I am upset about this all. Ha. Ah well...

I guess I'll do it all myself. After all, it's my dream right?

A Compatritive Study

I thought I'd do a little comparative study of two types of 'Problems' and their respective 'Treatments'. I prefer One to the other. Guess which one and Win A Prize!


Diagnoses X By Orthopedist:
Great Muscular Pain and Possible Shifting of Disc in Back.

Diagnoses Y By Astrologer:
Negative Thinking, Bad Health Stuff and Being A Pain To My Mom By The Astrologer.

Treatment X : Bed Rest.

Treatment Y : A Little 'Moti' Round My Neck

Recovery Time for Treatment X : 1-2 Weeks and then Another Week of not exercising.

Recovery Time for Treatment Y : Effects will be seen in two to three Days.

Tests Involved for X : MRI, EKG and one more thing that involved me getting Shocked.

Tests Involved for Y : Some 'Kundli' and Star-chart Analysis.

Total Cost Of X : Rs.35,000 (Thank GOD For Medical Insurance!)

Total Cost Of Y : Rs.0 (But it seems that I'll have to give the astrologer a % of the money I make when I grow up. Which, as it seems, there will be a lot of.)

Click!!!!

I've been been able to do this before! I don't know how much sense it'll make but hey! I did it! All credit goes to my friend Akshata though!!!

A:
DUDE!
It happened!
After so motherfucking long!!!
Things Clicked!!!
Things clicked man!
You know....
Once in a thousand years...
Nay, In a billion years...
It happens. Things click, everything from the recent past joins in together and it fills up the cup.
Man!
Listen to I become I!
And No!
It isn't pleasure...
It's bitter sweet...
Very...
It's all uncertain and it's scary!
But things clicked!
It's VERY Lovely!
Beautiful!

Ak:
like what?

A:
Like...
Like a fist fight!
Like Fate!
Like a song when you really really need one!
It flows through you and you don't even realize cause you're too busy grooving to the beat...
Then, before you realize it, it glows to the beat right through you're veins...
Sometimes blue, sometimes green, sometimes red...
Any colour and every colour...
You stop caring about it all...
You're not even in yourself anymore.
You're outside...
And you're floating away from yourself...
You realize that you can't see the future. It's uncertain and it's scary. The ground you're grooving on presently is shaky,.
But you don't care about yourself anymore.
You're too taken by the beauty of the situation.
All those things that mattered once become minute. They become negligible.
You feel like as long as the beat keeps playing you can stay where you are
Suspended between then and now.
Between real and unreal.
Fact and fiction. Possible and impossible.
And your body's still grooving.
You're body doesn't stop grooving to that beat.
The music keeps playing!!!
As you float away you realize the past!
And you see how it's all been building up to this.
Every minute event has been leading to this one event,.
Not just events with slight connections, no! Major connections!!!
All the while you can feel your body grooving. And I swear to the lord above that that's the best god damn feeling in the world!
And then...
there you are...
With a smile that refuses to wear off.
Unafraid and full of joy!
So connected to the divine!
Until finally...
Slowly, and peacefully...
The music fades away...
And you slip back in.
You're back home.
A small smile on your face tells of what has just happens but other than that...
Nothing!
And all you can say to your friends after it all is Nothing... Nothing at All...


Thank You Akshata! If I hadn’t been chatting with you, I wouldn’t have been able to put it all into words!

Middle of the night...

I'm watching movies, writing, reading and composing in the middle of the night. I'm drinking back coffee with just sugar inside and I'm breathing in passive smoke from my neighbor that secretly smokes every night. I'm working on a dream. I'm finishing past projects. I'm making progress. I'm working real hard and I'm feeling real good. Well... At least while I work...
Otherwise...
Well otherwise I just end up feeling like shit...
Ha! Funny...
Life's funny that way. At least for me...

Frustration

It's funny how you get irritated man. How frustration sets in. Why it sets in. It feels like it's a different reason every friggin time...
Situations change...
Hmmm...
Or do they?
Naah...
They don't! No seriously... They don't.

I mean just think about it. The similarities between our problems back then and our problems right now are so simple and evident. The scary math test in 1st grade is the scary math test in 8th or 10th or 11th grade. Yes, addition's been replaced with trigonometry. But it's still the same situation. The 10th grade boards are as tough as the 12th grade boards and even though you think that your 5th grade social sciences portion was easy when you look back today, it wasn't back then. It was as challenging to you then as this year's portion is now.

And it doesn't just work with education. You would argue about which superhero is the strongest. Well now it's football players or actors or politicians or musicians isn't it? Your parents were always over-protective of you, but you didn't really realize it and start hating it till you were older. The situations are, in a certain way, the same. It's just the way we react to them that changes.

Boys scrape their knees and cry but Men do not. Our parents and older relatives had the WWII, The Independence Struggle and Y2K to worry about. We have Terrorism and Global Warming. We've both faced potentially world-ending problems and how we act now will determine the outcome.

In a way, not even 'how much' is wrong with life changes. Just that different things become a bother. It comes with maturity. Comes with growth. One goes from being upset because they do not understand the nature of something to being upset because they do not accept it. The problems are, in some sense, the same.

So what do you do? How do you take care of this oh-so-unchangeable way of the world?

Nothing!
No point in trying to change it now is there? Just go with the flow, just take every issue as it comes.

You sure as hell can't decide the cards you're dealt, but how you play them is totally up to you...

Randomity

So I just got the new PC a few days ago...
And I got FL studio on it as well...
What happens if I can't sleep and I have that combination in my room?

Well here it is...

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=WWLHANBZ