A Different School of Thought

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. It's not that I haven't been writing, It's just that most of what I've written has been written elsewhere.

I've written log entry after log entry full of thoughts and ideas and philosophy.
I've written answer sheets full of badly scribbled handwriting.
I've written songs that, in all probability, will never get recorded or heard by anyone else...
I've written little notes full of love and texts full of motivational thoughts.

Yeah... I've been writing. Just not here. So I guess it's time to type out a little something for this platform. This other platform that no one really reads either...

It's been a rough couple of months. I've questioned why I'm doing what I'm doing and whether it will eer yield results. I guess it's easier to have faith when you believe in something. When, on questioning, an activity that you devote so much of your time to yields answers that are not just unsatisfactory, but leave you with a really bad feeling in your gut, it's hard to have faith.

But that's the thing with faith, I'm told. It's believing when there is absolutely no reason to believe.

I disagree. And I do so strongly.

The fact is, I believe in another school of thought. One that believes in questioning. I believe in asking questions. I believe in asking question after question after question till there are no more questions left. Anything that is presented to me, is questioned to death. If it holds up to questioning, I agree with it and believe in it. If it does not, I reject it for another time. For questioning is also time-specific. There are things I've believed in for years. It doesn't mean I've stopped questioning them. It means that they've held up to my questioning every single time.

Sometimes thigns don't hold up to questioning. So they're rethought. Re-explored and reexamined, they often lead me to greater truths. And I guess that's the thing. I love the truth. More importantly, I love Knowing the Truth.

Knowing gives me a strong strong sense of relief. Whether what I know is pleasant or downright horrifying. The fact that I know it gives me a strong sense of... Fulfillment.

So that's what I do. I question. I follow my own personal school of thought. And every now and then, I question whether questioning itself is of any use. And as always, the idea holds up to questioning.

I guess writing these hopelessly abstract and random ideas are better than having nothing here at all....

Why is it better? I think I'll get to that soon.