Friends

I had two thoughts today that I thought I should mention before they're lost in the sea of memories in my brain.

I was wondering what makes a friend, i.e, what differentiates an acquaintance or a fellow traveller from a friend. And I really couldn't put my finger on it. Sometimes when I think of the topic I tend to feel a little betrayed by my friends. A voice inside me says that they're never really there for me when I need them. 

"Too many phone calls made in vain?" I ask.

"Too many times when they didn't know what to say" It replies.

 

But I disagree. My friends are wonderful people and I am, in every sense of the word, Blessed to know them and be able to walk alongside them in this path that is life. They're good at heart and wish me well. What more can I want? 

"Nothing" says a part of me.

"The right words at the right time." says another. 

"Sometimes the smallest things are the most ridiculous to ask for." I tell myself and end the debate. I was looking for answers to some questions the other day and I came to a conclusion. It's nice and easy and quick. If your friends do some of the things wikipedia says they should do, they're your friends. Here's the list:

• The tendency to desire what is best for the other
• Sympathy and empathy
• Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart
• Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
• Enjoyment of each other's company
• Trust in one another
• Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
• The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.
• It is very important to have honesty, trust, sympathy, respect and helpfulness in friendship

Wikipedia makes me happy.

Trivial Pursuits...

Trivial pursuits keep me up at night...
I walk around my room thinking up a million possibilities. Some make me smile and some make me sad. I try and get through these silly games my mind plays. Thinking of what will be or not be based on incomplete ideas in my brain. I feel like calling up my friends. Waking them up to tell them ever so excitedly about whatever half baked goal it is that I'm after. But I always seem to chose otherwise.
This sense of restlessness is almost too much, Do I pull back and wonder waht could've happened for the rest of my life? Or do I go in, head first. A cannon ball into the 6 foot deep swimming pool that is life.

But what does it matter man? Even with me trying my best, nothing seems to be working out. Or am I not working hard enough? All my friends seem to think so. I'm perpetually stuck in  a zone that seriously sucks man! Seriously.

There's a...

Ah fuck it. No point talking about it here man. Can't have the wrong people reading it now can I? Let's just hope things work out. That everything falls into place. I can not have mysef looking back at life cursing myself for not trying hard enough. Better jump in soon.

Busy

Busy is good. 

Busy is fun.

Busy keeps me sane and lets me live a little more than usual.

Busy makes me wonder, and ponder, and blink.

Busy is what I am today. And will be tomorrow and the day after that.

Busy is a way of life. A philosophy that is all consuming all knowing and all accepting.

Busy is nothing in particular but everything at once.

Busy makes me happy and tired and wise.

Busy makes me unhappy, energetic and silly.

Busy is Nothing and Busy is Everything.

Busy is me. And I am Busy.

Jai Hind.

Poem? Poem.

Smoke.

These wisps of smoke

they rise above

imposing on

Reality

A spot of ash

upon my shoe

resting with

Finality

A man of thoughts

and views and books

and things of little

Vanity

Lies awake

but sleeping still

absorbed in all his 

Fallacies

A beam of light

comes into view

the sun above

it plays a game

Of hide and seek

within the clouds

until they part

and make it rain

And everything
is washed away
with little noise
and pretty show

And wisps of smoke 

that rose above

come gently floating
down below

Gently floating down below...

Mellow

I've been mellow lately. Mellow songs, mellow words, mellow thoughts, mellow smile.. Though people get me excited every now and then, I come back to being mellow every time. The silence just makes more... Sense. People come up every now and then and ask me what's wrong. Nothing's wrong. I get confused when I think about why they don't see it.

There's a bitter-sweet sort of happiness. The kind of happiness you get every now and then. When you touch the source. The River. I accept, I am nothing and I am everything. But I feel it now more then ever.

Every now and then, I run into another soul. A fellow traveller or friend. They help me release what I feel into the air and onto the scrapes of paper around me. And it's all so... Mellow. :)

So mellow. I feel so mellow thee days. :)

New Demo! :D

Smit FINALLY Got his Electric! :D