Recently, a new condition has been placed upon me by a dear friend...
For the first time ever...
I will be the one to call up...
Why is that so screwed up? Well I'll tell you...
See, the thing is...
That since I was a kid, I've never really been the kind to call up a person. Hell, when Mom went on month long business trips I never called her, even though I was like 8 years old. A age where children are often still quite attached to their parents.
Did I miss her? Yes.
Did I ever even think of calling her? No.
I call people if I have work though.
Which kind of makes me matlabi right?
Yeah... But the thing is... That I'm normally so approachable that people just end up calling me. So I end up talking to them. Plus, when I call them for the work, I make sure to check into other things as well.
But still!
It's something to improve apon! And I'm not going to miss that kind of and opportunity.
So! My good friend! (You know who you are) Prepare to be called!
Wow...
Even thinking about it feels weird.
Par nai!
It's worth it.
My Friends are all always worth it! Woohoo!!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Why I pushed you out of my life.
Some of the reasons... :|
1. Because seeing your face just pisses me off.
2. Because you just don't get it.
3. Because I can't handle this shit.
4. Because roses are read, violets are blue, why don't you mind your own fucking business?
5. Because at the end of the day, no matter how wrong it may seem or be, I do, most certainly, Hate you.
6. Because without you around, I sleep better.
7. Because my Gut told me so.
8. Because you preach.
9. Because you preach.
10. Because you preach.
11. Because you say more than you listen.
12. Because you assume to much.
13. Because you're way too loud.
14. Because you're stubborn.
15. Because you hurt me.
16. Because you think you know it all.
17. Because you sometimes play with the situation.
18. Because you don't know when to stop.
19. Because you were unfair to all the wrong people.
20. But lastly, and most of all, it's because every time you come along on any plane, all that comes to me is "Fuck That Shit! I'm Outta Here!"
1. Because seeing your face just pisses me off.
2. Because you just don't get it.
3. Because I can't handle this shit.
4. Because roses are read, violets are blue, why don't you mind your own fucking business?
5. Because at the end of the day, no matter how wrong it may seem or be, I do, most certainly, Hate you.
6. Because without you around, I sleep better.
7. Because my Gut told me so.
8. Because you preach.
9. Because you preach.
10. Because you preach.
11. Because you say more than you listen.
12. Because you assume to much.
13. Because you're way too loud.
14. Because you're stubborn.
15. Because you hurt me.
16. Because you think you know it all.
17. Because you sometimes play with the situation.
18. Because you don't know when to stop.
19. Because you were unfair to all the wrong people.
20. But lastly, and most of all, it's because every time you come along on any plane, all that comes to me is "Fuck That Shit! I'm Outta Here!"
Saturday, December 19, 2009
It's scary...
It's scary when things move too fast...
When before you know it, entire days have gone by...
When questions come up faster than you can solve 'em...
When you can see the future in the distance and aren't sure about whether or not you can handle it when it finally hits.
It's scary when new things keep happening...
When you meet a lot of new people in a very short time...
When you start feeling emotions...
It's worse when they're new ones.
It's scary when you start realizing new things about yourself...
A new taste you like, a new texture, a new colour or a new shape...
A new song...
A deeper meaning...
When you're more connected to it all than you think...
It's scary...
But I guess I can't get enough of it...
Of just standing there in the cold dark just guessing at the actual date and time...
Yeah...
It's good.
It feels good...
The feelings and emotions and experiences and people and music and everything else...
It feels awesome!!! XD
When before you know it, entire days have gone by...
When questions come up faster than you can solve 'em...
When you can see the future in the distance and aren't sure about whether or not you can handle it when it finally hits.
It's scary when new things keep happening...
When you meet a lot of new people in a very short time...
When you start feeling emotions...
It's worse when they're new ones.
It's scary when you start realizing new things about yourself...
A new taste you like, a new texture, a new colour or a new shape...
A new song...
A deeper meaning...
When you're more connected to it all than you think...
It's scary...
But I guess I can't get enough of it...
Of just standing there in the cold dark just guessing at the actual date and time...
Yeah...
It's good.
It feels good...
The feelings and emotions and experiences and people and music and everything else...
It feels awesome!!! XD
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Weird Stuff...
Omar is a bloody ACL for Kshitij! Holy Shit!
Opening Bell is now 9AM! Dman!
Gupta Finished Skulduggery in like a day! Yeh Kya Hai?!
I managed to bang into the same wall Twice in a row! WTF?!
Jimmy Hilloo's willing to do me some PR! Dude!
Life's full of weird shit...
Weird...
Opening Bell is now 9AM! Dman!
Gupta Finished Skulduggery in like a day! Yeh Kya Hai?!
I managed to bang into the same wall Twice in a row! WTF?!
Jimmy Hilloo's willing to do me some PR! Dude!
Life's full of weird shit...
Weird...
Monday, December 14, 2009
Note To Self:
As Worried As I Am. As Shitty Hav Things Have Gotten Recently. I Am Not Giving Up. I Will Get Things Done. Period.
PS:Boo-Yeah Bitches!!!!
PS:Boo-Yeah Bitches!!!!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A Competition Entry...
I wrote the following for a competition. We were given a scene (A room filled with stuff)and were to write a story by interpreting what we saw.
I wish I hap pictures of what was there, but I don't. Apologies if some things feel a little out of context.
------------------------------------------------------------
Journal Entry,21st November, 2009.
I've been six days since I've slept. About ten since I've eaten. I've been living off the alcohol since the tofu ran out. The abandoned college building is better than the apartment. I like the cold here. Makes me feel human. There's something about the cold night air filling up your lungs that reminds you that you're no better than every other sad excuse of a living being around you. I sometimes sit and wonder why the others can't see it. Why no one else sees it. Because I keep going out and stealing the news paper every day, and they still aren't over me. They started out with stories on how I went missing. How I might have been 'kidnapped' for the ransom. How I might have just run away from it all. They say the money got to me. But it didn't! I swear to God it didn't! It was her. It was all her. Yes, it was always her...
It still is you know! Yes, yes! It is her! She's the only reason I'm still here. Alive and breathing. I see her every day you know. The building looks over her. I see her every day. No one knew about us. No one. They weren't allowed to know. I couldn't tell Them. But I did! Why? WHY DAMNIT! No. No. It wasn't my fault. It couldn't have been my fault! It was Their Fault. They couldn't see us together. They didn't like that I was happy.
Mother liked me happy though... She let me paint whenever I wanted. And she even let me keep the money I made when I sold the paintings. I miss Mother. But They told me to say Good Bye. So I did. I cut her and beat her and I said Good Bye to her. It wasn't my fault! I swear to Got it wasn't my fault! THEY TOLD ME TO SAY GOOD BYE! I can't not obey them! I can't...
But I can paint. And... And people liked it when I painted. They clapped and smiled when they say my paintings. Inbred Swine. Those people never saw through me. Never say through the paint. Never saw my soul. But she did. She saw through it all and she cried. She wept when she saw my soul. She understood me. And we were together. And I Loved her. Ans she loved me too. But no one knew. No one could know. But They found out! I told Them, And when I went to see her next they told me to say Good Bye. I told them that I couldn't. No I couldn't! It wasn't fair! You aren't fair! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT! But They wouldn't leave me alone. So I had to do it.
I like yellow. It... It feels good. I have yellow hands right now. I dipped them in paint yesterday. I like orange too. Orange was her favorite colour...
And I miss her... I knew I'd miss her... But I couldn't help it. I had to do what I did. She screamed when I took her by the neck into the bathroom. Her voice was so clear. So beautiful. But no one heard us. No one. I made sure of it. And when I forced her into the tub full of yellow her hands looked so much like mine. The paintbrush made red in the tub too. She was found three days later in a tub of blood and paint. All I saw was Orange. She seemed happy. Yes, she was happy. No she wasn't! She couldn't have been happy! What did I do? What have I don? Oh God! Forgive me! They made me do it! You know They did! I tried to say no! I did! I swear!
But you understand.... Yes. God understands me! He knows I'm innocent. That's why no one ever found out that it was me. Yes... He protected me...
I couldn't stay there anymore though. Not at home... No. Too many people. Far too many. And the noise. Oh the noise. It killed me! So I came here. It was closer to her. It still is. I see her every day. And when no one's looking, I give her flowers. Orange carnations, whenever I can.
I've done a lot in my six months here you know... I painted another painting. It's smaller than what I usually do. But it had to be done. It's all I have left. People sold all my paintings after I was declared dead by the police. And they took away my house. And they started saying all kinds of things about what kind of a person I was. BUT THEY DON'T KNOW ME! NONE OF THEM KNOW ME! Only she knew me... But I said Good Bye to her... They made me say Good Bye to her. Why? Why? I miss her! I miss you so much! Why did They make you go away? Why?
I even tried telling them how I felt... took all the pictures of me in the papers and painted tears on them. I crumpled them up so my tars faced inside. My inside. So They could see. But They ignored me. They keep ignoring me...
No! I can't do it anymore! I can't take Them anymore! They keep talking! They keep talking! Why won't They just stop talking?
I know... I know what I'll do now. I'll say Good Bye to Them! I've done Their bidding all my life! I can't! No! I WON'T take it anymore! Shut up! Shut up! You will not dictate my life to me anymore. None of you! I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid of You All anymore! I'll end it today. And rest near her. I have an old blade somewhere. I'll find it soon enough. And I'll cut myself open one last time. And I'll do it so it stays that way. I'll leave some blood for the room. Something to leave Them behind in. I have some yellow paint left as well. I'll go paint her grave her favourite colour this one last time.
------------------------------------------------------------
I wish I hap pictures of what was there, but I don't. Apologies if some things feel a little out of context.
------------------------------------------------------------
Journal Entry,21st November, 2009.
I've been six days since I've slept. About ten since I've eaten. I've been living off the alcohol since the tofu ran out. The abandoned college building is better than the apartment. I like the cold here. Makes me feel human. There's something about the cold night air filling up your lungs that reminds you that you're no better than every other sad excuse of a living being around you. I sometimes sit and wonder why the others can't see it. Why no one else sees it. Because I keep going out and stealing the news paper every day, and they still aren't over me. They started out with stories on how I went missing. How I might have been 'kidnapped' for the ransom. How I might have just run away from it all. They say the money got to me. But it didn't! I swear to God it didn't! It was her. It was all her. Yes, it was always her...
It still is you know! Yes, yes! It is her! She's the only reason I'm still here. Alive and breathing. I see her every day you know. The building looks over her. I see her every day. No one knew about us. No one. They weren't allowed to know. I couldn't tell Them. But I did! Why? WHY DAMNIT! No. No. It wasn't my fault. It couldn't have been my fault! It was Their Fault. They couldn't see us together. They didn't like that I was happy.
Mother liked me happy though... She let me paint whenever I wanted. And she even let me keep the money I made when I sold the paintings. I miss Mother. But They told me to say Good Bye. So I did. I cut her and beat her and I said Good Bye to her. It wasn't my fault! I swear to Got it wasn't my fault! THEY TOLD ME TO SAY GOOD BYE! I can't not obey them! I can't...
But I can paint. And... And people liked it when I painted. They clapped and smiled when they say my paintings. Inbred Swine. Those people never saw through me. Never say through the paint. Never saw my soul. But she did. She saw through it all and she cried. She wept when she saw my soul. She understood me. And we were together. And I Loved her. Ans she loved me too. But no one knew. No one could know. But They found out! I told Them, And when I went to see her next they told me to say Good Bye. I told them that I couldn't. No I couldn't! It wasn't fair! You aren't fair! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT! But They wouldn't leave me alone. So I had to do it.
I like yellow. It... It feels good. I have yellow hands right now. I dipped them in paint yesterday. I like orange too. Orange was her favorite colour...
And I miss her... I knew I'd miss her... But I couldn't help it. I had to do what I did. She screamed when I took her by the neck into the bathroom. Her voice was so clear. So beautiful. But no one heard us. No one. I made sure of it. And when I forced her into the tub full of yellow her hands looked so much like mine. The paintbrush made red in the tub too. She was found three days later in a tub of blood and paint. All I saw was Orange. She seemed happy. Yes, she was happy. No she wasn't! She couldn't have been happy! What did I do? What have I don? Oh God! Forgive me! They made me do it! You know They did! I tried to say no! I did! I swear!
But you understand.... Yes. God understands me! He knows I'm innocent. That's why no one ever found out that it was me. Yes... He protected me...
I couldn't stay there anymore though. Not at home... No. Too many people. Far too many. And the noise. Oh the noise. It killed me! So I came here. It was closer to her. It still is. I see her every day. And when no one's looking, I give her flowers. Orange carnations, whenever I can.
I've done a lot in my six months here you know... I painted another painting. It's smaller than what I usually do. But it had to be done. It's all I have left. People sold all my paintings after I was declared dead by the police. And they took away my house. And they started saying all kinds of things about what kind of a person I was. BUT THEY DON'T KNOW ME! NONE OF THEM KNOW ME! Only she knew me... But I said Good Bye to her... They made me say Good Bye to her. Why? Why? I miss her! I miss you so much! Why did They make you go away? Why?
I even tried telling them how I felt... took all the pictures of me in the papers and painted tears on them. I crumpled them up so my tars faced inside. My inside. So They could see. But They ignored me. They keep ignoring me...
No! I can't do it anymore! I can't take Them anymore! They keep talking! They keep talking! Why won't They just stop talking?
I know... I know what I'll do now. I'll say Good Bye to Them! I've done Their bidding all my life! I can't! No! I WON'T take it anymore! Shut up! Shut up! You will not dictate my life to me anymore. None of you! I'm not afraid! I'm not afraid of You All anymore! I'll end it today. And rest near her. I have an old blade somewhere. I'll find it soon enough. And I'll cut myself open one last time. And I'll do it so it stays that way. I'll leave some blood for the room. Something to leave Them behind in. I have some yellow paint left as well. I'll go paint her grave her favourite colour this one last time.
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A bet...
Since I' cna't upload from my other blog I'm putting this up here...
The bet between my friend and I is this...
I think the poem is Shit. My friend thinks otherwise...
Let's see what you guys think...
Don't waste you time thinking,
Thinking of what I'll say,
What I'll do or what I'll be,
And not of if I'll stay.
Think not of what has happened,
Or will happen, or is now.
Think not of 'Ifs' and 'Maybes'
Think instead of how.
Do spend you time in doing,
In feeling, in living,
Do spend it being honest,
And caring, and giving.
Do spend your time alone sometimes,
Just sit sometimes, just breathe and wait,
Don't concern yourself with people then,
Of where to be, and if you're late.
And lastly all I'd like to say,
I'd like to shout, I'd like to scream,
Is as you look at things around,
Remember, they're not what they seem.
PS: Make me win. Be Honest. Say It! It's SHIT!
The bet between my friend and I is this...
I think the poem is Shit. My friend thinks otherwise...
Let's see what you guys think...
Don't waste you time thinking,
Thinking of what I'll say,
What I'll do or what I'll be,
And not of if I'll stay.
Think not of what has happened,
Or will happen, or is now.
Think not of 'Ifs' and 'Maybes'
Think instead of how.
Do spend you time in doing,
In feeling, in living,
Do spend it being honest,
And caring, and giving.
Do spend your time alone sometimes,
Just sit sometimes, just breathe and wait,
Don't concern yourself with people then,
Of where to be, and if you're late.
And lastly all I'd like to say,
I'd like to shout, I'd like to scream,
Is as you look at things around,
Remember, they're not what they seem.
PS: Make me win. Be Honest. Say It! It's SHIT!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
All kinds of random shit..
In honesty, sometimes things just don't seem to move in any particular direction...
And when they actually do after that long dry spell one can't help but feel ecstatic...
I'm feeling real ecstatic right now...
Because things are really working out here and there...
Touch wood though...
Don't want things fucking up...
Anyway...
Oh yeah!
Goa was nice.
Real nice. Met some nice people there. People I hope to meet again.
Heard a lot of music that I felt was real real nice...
Also, a lot of things have been running through my mind. Regarding a lot of different things...
But then that's stuff for me to sort out all by myself. Just how I like it. :)
Death Cab For Cutie Playing on my music system.
Real nice stuff I must say...
Lately they've been playing a lot in my room...
Mainly because I'm somewhat in Awe at how they pull it all together and manage to make just so much sense...
My parents have been at me too...
Oh God! It gets tough some times... But it's all good.
I closed myself down just in time to not be damaged by what they have to say. I respect them, I love them. They're my parents. But some of our views just don't match. Cant do much about the now can I?
Ah well... And lif egoes on.
Creatively I've been feeling really really bummed out...
Don't feel like writing on any one topic in particular.
Lot's of ideas forming in my mind but none of them seem strong enough to come out and amount to something. I can't even spend too much time on any of them because of the amount of stuff I seem to be up to all at the same time. Is it too much for me to do?
I think not! :)
Other than that, I feel like writing a lot more... So I guess I will...
People have proven to be quite the pickle for me...
They're a real pain I tell you. Sometimes, just sometimes I feel like just mentally leaving because of how people are.
I don't like them much you know...
In face, it would be safe to say that I'm only here because some of 'em are just so darn lovable!
That and the music.
Tried a little fish food in Goa by the way...
Real nice tasting stuff man. I quite like fish! :)
But I'm not to have too much. Parents say no. And I shall listen to 'em for the most part.
What else what else what else...
Oh yeah!
Death Cab is playing!
They have this one song, called I Will Posses Your Heart.
Man! It's like a 6 Minute instrumental followed by the actual song. Amazing stuff. I really really like it.
In fact right now I'm enjoying typoing too. The whole experience of my fingers knowing exactly where each key is if just so nice. In fact, I feel that the entire feeling of just knowing... It feels amazing. Not knowing is basically being in the dark for me. And That's a really scary thing. Something I'm not a big fan of the be honest.
Ah well...
I think I've said enough for now...
Wow...
How did I ever almost get published?
I write real bullshit you know!
Haha!
Yeah!
I like this shit!
Life's All Good 'n' Shit,
Mehta!
And when they actually do after that long dry spell one can't help but feel ecstatic...
I'm feeling real ecstatic right now...
Because things are really working out here and there...
Touch wood though...
Don't want things fucking up...
Anyway...
Oh yeah!
Goa was nice.
Real nice. Met some nice people there. People I hope to meet again.
Heard a lot of music that I felt was real real nice...
Also, a lot of things have been running through my mind. Regarding a lot of different things...
But then that's stuff for me to sort out all by myself. Just how I like it. :)
Death Cab For Cutie Playing on my music system.
Real nice stuff I must say...
Lately they've been playing a lot in my room...
Mainly because I'm somewhat in Awe at how they pull it all together and manage to make just so much sense...
My parents have been at me too...
Oh God! It gets tough some times... But it's all good.
I closed myself down just in time to not be damaged by what they have to say. I respect them, I love them. They're my parents. But some of our views just don't match. Cant do much about the now can I?
Ah well... And lif egoes on.
Creatively I've been feeling really really bummed out...
Don't feel like writing on any one topic in particular.
Lot's of ideas forming in my mind but none of them seem strong enough to come out and amount to something. I can't even spend too much time on any of them because of the amount of stuff I seem to be up to all at the same time. Is it too much for me to do?
I think not! :)
Other than that, I feel like writing a lot more... So I guess I will...
People have proven to be quite the pickle for me...
They're a real pain I tell you. Sometimes, just sometimes I feel like just mentally leaving because of how people are.
I don't like them much you know...
In face, it would be safe to say that I'm only here because some of 'em are just so darn lovable!
That and the music.
Tried a little fish food in Goa by the way...
Real nice tasting stuff man. I quite like fish! :)
But I'm not to have too much. Parents say no. And I shall listen to 'em for the most part.
What else what else what else...
Oh yeah!
Death Cab is playing!
They have this one song, called I Will Posses Your Heart.
Man! It's like a 6 Minute instrumental followed by the actual song. Amazing stuff. I really really like it.
In fact right now I'm enjoying typoing too. The whole experience of my fingers knowing exactly where each key is if just so nice. In fact, I feel that the entire feeling of just knowing... It feels amazing. Not knowing is basically being in the dark for me. And That's a really scary thing. Something I'm not a big fan of the be honest.
Ah well...
I think I've said enough for now...
Wow...
How did I ever almost get published?
I write real bullshit you know!
Haha!
Yeah!
I like this shit!
Life's All Good 'n' Shit,
Mehta!
Monday, November 2, 2009
A picture in my mind
It's an eye. And the sun shines into it just beautifully. And I'm so close to it. ANd it's just one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen in my life. And I'm afraid I'll forget it. So It's here. And a few other places so that I don't forget. And even if I do, I am reminded.
There's a picture in my mind you know. One of the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. And one day I'll be able to put it on paper. I will!
There's a picture in my mind you know. One of the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen. And one day I'll be able to put it on paper. I will!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Clutching Paper.
Boats with sails in the distance. And I keep hearing piano playing. Maybe it's my earphones. Yes. It's my earphones.
The water seems all bluish green. Not one of the usual shades. At least I haven't seen it much. My memory flashes a rainy pre-afternoon when the sea seemed grey. And Meet and I stood watching in silence. The tetrapods below seem smaller than usual.
The wind blows at me and says hello as the Beatles play something I don't want to listen to. Cause it reminds me of how I don't cut it. How I fail. I won't change it though. I'd rather just sit here and feel bad about what happened.
The Fray cheer me up though. Feels like a little bit of the load on my shoulders has been lifted off. Oh wait.. Nono. It's off.:) I'm not really smiling though.
A crow finds some food and brings it to the parapet to eat. Another crow tries to gt it hands, (or should I say claws) on it. And while they fight a Kite takes it away... Ha! Feels familiar Nai?
Two girls come sit on the parapet to my left. I can't look in that direction now., They'll think I'm staring at them. Nut I'm not. Only one person I like looking at. Ah well...
Some villagers pass me by. so excited. Funny.
Hmmm... Not many waves today. My mind goes back to those morning walks. I see Meet and I and the others looking at the waves oh so silently. A true Comfortable Silence.
Have you ever notices how crows fly here? Battling the winds. The same ones that oh so nicely say hello to me every now and then.
I wonder where that Girl got that glass from. And how far the pier that was once here stretched out. And why some of the stones are red... Maybe the light. Maybe the colour from stuff people keep throwing in the sea.
People that come here in twos or more seem so happy. Yeah. They're happy. And for the moment they smile. And I smile.
And It's all good again.
I hope.
But I smile anyway.
I tried to tear a page out today. I don't know why. But it's a little crumbled now. And I just clutched on to the corner. And then just let it go. I'm sorry for that. Very Sorry. Mainly to myself. And My Book. It will not happen Again. I promise.
The water seems all bluish green. Not one of the usual shades. At least I haven't seen it much. My memory flashes a rainy pre-afternoon when the sea seemed grey. And Meet and I stood watching in silence. The tetrapods below seem smaller than usual.
The wind blows at me and says hello as the Beatles play something I don't want to listen to. Cause it reminds me of how I don't cut it. How I fail. I won't change it though. I'd rather just sit here and feel bad about what happened.
The Fray cheer me up though. Feels like a little bit of the load on my shoulders has been lifted off. Oh wait.. Nono. It's off.:) I'm not really smiling though.
A crow finds some food and brings it to the parapet to eat. Another crow tries to gt it hands, (or should I say claws) on it. And while they fight a Kite takes it away... Ha! Feels familiar Nai?
Two girls come sit on the parapet to my left. I can't look in that direction now., They'll think I'm staring at them. Nut I'm not. Only one person I like looking at. Ah well...
Some villagers pass me by. so excited. Funny.
Hmmm... Not many waves today. My mind goes back to those morning walks. I see Meet and I and the others looking at the waves oh so silently. A true Comfortable Silence.
Have you ever notices how crows fly here? Battling the winds. The same ones that oh so nicely say hello to me every now and then.
I wonder where that Girl got that glass from. And how far the pier that was once here stretched out. And why some of the stones are red... Maybe the light. Maybe the colour from stuff people keep throwing in the sea.
People that come here in twos or more seem so happy. Yeah. They're happy. And for the moment they smile. And I smile.
And It's all good again.
I hope.
But I smile anyway.
I tried to tear a page out today. I don't know why. But it's a little crumbled now. And I just clutched on to the corner. And then just let it go. I'm sorry for that. Very Sorry. Mainly to myself. And My Book. It will not happen Again. I promise.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Long time no see/Time, time time...
Came back to Bombay via Car from Umargaon or Umadgaon (depending on whether you take the spelling on the station or the highway respectively). I was just telling the Guys, (Farrhad, Krish, Aum Bhai) that as soon as I get back it'll be back to work. No time to rest. Entering the city is gonna mean being busy again.
See I was on vacation for a good 7 days. Was at the family farm house. A place we're blessed to have. From the 17th to the 24th I had a very nice and well deserved "Forced-Vacation" as I like to call it. :) Forced because EVERYONE made me take it.
Thank God they did though! :) Moving on...
So we're on our way back and as soon as we cross the Toll booth that officially signifies you entering the city I start getting calls. About 5 calls. All work related! Crazy! 24th onwards it's been nothing but work. Last two days have been extremely hectic and my schedule till the 9th is filling up VERY fast! If anyone had some work or just wanted to meet just lemme know as soon as possible. So I can fit you in. I was hoping to go meet some relatives in north Mumbai but I doubt I'll be able to pull it off. I'm taking part in three Performing Arts events and (hopefully) about four Literary Arts Events for a Festival in Goa that's being hosted by B.I.T.S Pilani. Woohoo? Not really. But I love working! And This is a good platform and what not! XD
I was just hoping to meet some people. Rather EVERYONE I haven't met in some time. So I'm just hoping to see you guys soon. Mind giving me a call? We'll fix something up! :)
In other news, I know I've been very cranky and have been screaming some. Apologies for that. Days are extremely hectic and my body isn't helping the situation.
Anyway...
That's about it for now. I'll put up pictures form the trip (Yes, there are SOME pics of me two for a change. :) ) soon.
Take good care now!
Swaying silently into the night,
-Mehta.
See I was on vacation for a good 7 days. Was at the family farm house. A place we're blessed to have. From the 17th to the 24th I had a very nice and well deserved "Forced-Vacation" as I like to call it. :) Forced because EVERYONE made me take it.
Thank God they did though! :) Moving on...
So we're on our way back and as soon as we cross the Toll booth that officially signifies you entering the city I start getting calls. About 5 calls. All work related! Crazy! 24th onwards it's been nothing but work. Last two days have been extremely hectic and my schedule till the 9th is filling up VERY fast! If anyone had some work or just wanted to meet just lemme know as soon as possible. So I can fit you in. I was hoping to go meet some relatives in north Mumbai but I doubt I'll be able to pull it off. I'm taking part in three Performing Arts events and (hopefully) about four Literary Arts Events for a Festival in Goa that's being hosted by B.I.T.S Pilani. Woohoo? Not really. But I love working! And This is a good platform and what not! XD
I was just hoping to meet some people. Rather EVERYONE I haven't met in some time. So I'm just hoping to see you guys soon. Mind giving me a call? We'll fix something up! :)
In other news, I know I've been very cranky and have been screaming some. Apologies for that. Days are extremely hectic and my body isn't helping the situation.
Anyway...
That's about it for now. I'll put up pictures form the trip (Yes, there are SOME pics of me two for a change. :) ) soon.
Take good care now!
Swaying silently into the night,
-Mehta.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
A Movie Script Ending....
I guess I just end up writing about music no matter what... :D
Feels so damn good! XD
A Movie Script Ending by Death Cab For Cutie is a song I love for a number of reasons.
Firstly, it has a truly wonderful video!
Fantastic! I can't get enough of it! The style in which it's been done is, in the words of Krish, Fabulous! The actress gives off the feel of someone that I can relate to very very easily. She knows who she is, don't you? :P
It portrays a certain kind of relationship. One that well... Enough said...
The song itself has a Chorus to die for! I can't get enough of it! I keep singing it man! The melody is quite wonderful. And when they go back to the chorus after the breakdown, Ah! With the build up on the snare and floor tom! Beautiful! Though the breakdown itself does tend to be a little too weird on first listen of the song.
Lyrics. I've always loved Death Cab's lyrics. And this song is a perfect example of why. (Lyrics At: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/amoviescriptending.html)
"With your hand on my shoulders, a meaningless movement... a moviescript ending, "
Ha! I don't know about you. But I relate to this somehow. Even though it has nothing to do with my life in particular. A meaningless movement. A movie script ending. Those little seemingly meaningless things that in all actuality mean so very much. So very very much... :)
*Sigh*
Music. :) Lovely Lovely Music.
Feels so damn good! XD
A Movie Script Ending by Death Cab For Cutie is a song I love for a number of reasons.
Firstly, it has a truly wonderful video!
Fantastic! I can't get enough of it! The style in which it's been done is, in the words of Krish, Fabulous! The actress gives off the feel of someone that I can relate to very very easily. She knows who she is, don't you? :P
It portrays a certain kind of relationship. One that well... Enough said...
The song itself has a Chorus to die for! I can't get enough of it! I keep singing it man! The melody is quite wonderful. And when they go back to the chorus after the breakdown, Ah! With the build up on the snare and floor tom! Beautiful! Though the breakdown itself does tend to be a little too weird on first listen of the song.
Lyrics. I've always loved Death Cab's lyrics. And this song is a perfect example of why. (Lyrics At: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/deathcabforcutie/amoviescriptending.html)
"With your hand on my shoulders, a meaningless movement... a moviescript ending, "
Ha! I don't know about you. But I relate to this somehow. Even though it has nothing to do with my life in particular. A meaningless movement. A movie script ending. Those little seemingly meaningless things that in all actuality mean so very much. So very very much... :)
*Sigh*
Music. :) Lovely Lovely Music.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Songs in my head...
So I recently watched the movie "The Boat That Rocked". Dude! Insane Movie! but that's not what I'm really talking about right now... Or am I? Anyway...
So Four songs in my head these days...
All Day And All Of The Night - The Kinks
Elenore - The Turtles
Twist And Shout - The Beatles
Lazy Sunday - The Small Faces.
Thing is...
They're all by British bands. And all from around the British Invasion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_British_Invasion).
Just makes me think...
THAT was a pretty awesome time to be alive man! Awesome time to be alive! XD
Check 'em out man! I'm sure you'll like 'em!
So Four songs in my head these days...
All Day And All Of The Night - The Kinks
Elenore - The Turtles
Twist And Shout - The Beatles
Lazy Sunday - The Small Faces.
Thing is...
They're all by British bands. And all from around the British Invasion (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_British_Invasion).
Just makes me think...
THAT was a pretty awesome time to be alive man! Awesome time to be alive! XD
Check 'em out man! I'm sure you'll like 'em!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Writing Songs...
I really enjoy doing so... It feels fantastic...
Feels good to talk about life and what's to it. Feels... Feels like it's what I'm meant to do (Other than the things I'm already sure of of course).
It's one thing I'm sure I'll never forget. Sitting with Devanshi, Bava, Krish, Devansh Aanchal and who not in the 'Secret Barista' with Krish playing the guitar and me singing along. We do these impromptu songs. Just make it up as it goes. And it feels so fucking good. We just talk about life and what we're up to and what we've learnt and how we've learnt it. Radhika, the Vocalist from our Band is normally missing these days. She lives at Goregaon so she's rarely ever around. That and she's studies too much.
The thing is... When I listen to songs other people like me have written I feel just a little low. They're so frggin good! Of course, this feeling of inadequacy never shows up during one of our singing sessions. At that time it's just the music and Me. :) I have a good feeling about this man. I have a really good feeling about this! :)
But anyway...
I think I should go. I'm learning a few chords on the guitar today. Then I have a song to write... :)
Feels good to talk about life and what's to it. Feels... Feels like it's what I'm meant to do (Other than the things I'm already sure of of course).
It's one thing I'm sure I'll never forget. Sitting with Devanshi, Bava, Krish, Devansh Aanchal and who not in the 'Secret Barista' with Krish playing the guitar and me singing along. We do these impromptu songs. Just make it up as it goes. And it feels so fucking good. We just talk about life and what we're up to and what we've learnt and how we've learnt it. Radhika, the Vocalist from our Band is normally missing these days. She lives at Goregaon so she's rarely ever around. That and she's studies too much.
The thing is... When I listen to songs other people like me have written I feel just a little low. They're so frggin good! Of course, this feeling of inadequacy never shows up during one of our singing sessions. At that time it's just the music and Me. :) I have a good feeling about this man. I have a really good feeling about this! :)
But anyway...
I think I should go. I'm learning a few chords on the guitar today. Then I have a song to write... :)
Friday, September 18, 2009
Exams, F.A.R, C.H.O.I.C.E, Music, God and Me.
Apologies for the lack of posts. Life... You know how it is...
Exams start from Wednesday. And I haven't even touched Math... All thanks to my maths sir. He doesn't show up only!!! I almost had a panic attack yesterday! I'm sure I'll have one today...
I'm lucky my Friend Krish is coming over to help me with the math and what not...
Like I keep saying, I'm surrounded by some amazing amazing people.
F.A.R, though at a very slow pace, is becoming bigger and bigger... I was just telling Azad the other day that it feels like after an entire day of running you end up only a few feet forward...
C.H.O.I.C.E, short for the Council of Handling and Organising Inter Collegiate Events is a club at H.R. They handle all the big college fests and what not. Malhar, Kiran, K-Do, Hoohaha etc. are all handled by them...
I've been getting a lot of good work and responsibility in the Literary Arts Department... I wanna be A directer next year yaar! Or get SOME post!
Music... Ah music... One of my two saving graces in times of dire need... The other being a certain someone you shall never know about... At least not on the bloody blog!
Yesterday we were at the Barista near Marine Drive and Krish was playing the acoustic. I was singing and playing a table top along with that. And it felt so fucking good man! So fucking good!
And all those things above make me wonder about God... He used to be God the Creator. I thought him up and then he turned into God the Observer. But something tells me now that he's more of God the Guide. He's made all of this possible you know...
And that makes me feel real right. Like I've almost got it! :)
Me! Haha! Woohoo! I'm pretty happy man! Pretty fuckin happy! Things feel good! Life feels good! And for all the cribbing that I do (I really don't think I do much of it) I really wouldn't have things any other way! :)
Diggin' That Shit!
-Mehta.
Exams start from Wednesday. And I haven't even touched Math... All thanks to my maths sir. He doesn't show up only!!! I almost had a panic attack yesterday! I'm sure I'll have one today...
I'm lucky my Friend Krish is coming over to help me with the math and what not...
Like I keep saying, I'm surrounded by some amazing amazing people.
F.A.R, though at a very slow pace, is becoming bigger and bigger... I was just telling Azad the other day that it feels like after an entire day of running you end up only a few feet forward...
C.H.O.I.C.E, short for the Council of Handling and Organising Inter Collegiate Events is a club at H.R. They handle all the big college fests and what not. Malhar, Kiran, K-Do, Hoohaha etc. are all handled by them...
I've been getting a lot of good work and responsibility in the Literary Arts Department... I wanna be A directer next year yaar! Or get SOME post!
Music... Ah music... One of my two saving graces in times of dire need... The other being a certain someone you shall never know about... At least not on the bloody blog!
Yesterday we were at the Barista near Marine Drive and Krish was playing the acoustic. I was singing and playing a table top along with that. And it felt so fucking good man! So fucking good!
And all those things above make me wonder about God... He used to be God the Creator. I thought him up and then he turned into God the Observer. But something tells me now that he's more of God the Guide. He's made all of this possible you know...
And that makes me feel real right. Like I've almost got it! :)
Me! Haha! Woohoo! I'm pretty happy man! Pretty fuckin happy! Things feel good! Life feels good! And for all the cribbing that I do (I really don't think I do much of it) I really wouldn't have things any other way! :)
Diggin' That Shit!
-Mehta.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Implse Buing/A Changed Me...
We bought an XBox 360 yesterday. We were having lunch and all of a sudden Ada (my brother) is like "Let's buy an XBox" So we went and got one... Crazy shit... I like impulse buys...
So there's a XBox 360 sitting in my brother's room and I don't feel like playing it...
Now that's a little weird... I guess I've drifted away from gaming... Still love it... But like watching TV it's something I just don't get to you know? Weird...
Ah well...
I'm waiting for Pranav to give me Gears of War 2... I'm sure I'll be glued to the 360 after that! XD
So there's a XBox 360 sitting in my brother's room and I don't feel like playing it...
Now that's a little weird... I guess I've drifted away from gaming... Still love it... But like watching TV it's something I just don't get to you know? Weird...
Ah well...
I'm waiting for Pranav to give me Gears of War 2... I'm sure I'll be glued to the 360 after that! XD
A Personal Victory
There's this white dog. The second in a short line of white dogs. This particular white dog, just as it's predecessor, has be barking at me and chasing me since forever. The other day, for the first time, I encountered him while he was with his owner. And with a leash around his neck. He did what he always does. He began barking at me. And Just as he was about to run at me, his owner pulled him back and gave him a firing of sorts. Haha!
Mehta-1, Dog-0
XD
Song in my head right now: Traffic in the Sky by Jack Johnson.
It's a lovely song I tell you! Jack's voice is just plain lovely!
Listen to it. Lemme know what you think...
Mehta-1, Dog-0
XD
Song in my head right now: Traffic in the Sky by Jack Johnson.
It's a lovely song I tell you! Jack's voice is just plain lovely!
Listen to it. Lemme know what you think...
Thursday, September 3, 2009
16 Years Old.
I was telling Tulika, a friend of mine, at the end of an extremely long tiring day how I wished sometimes that I could just be a regular 16 year old that wasn't running around trying to change the world.
And she asked me, as I was listing the things I could do if I were 'normal' (Playing cricket every everyday. Be in a band and actually be able to practice etc. etc.), "Aakash, you really think you could watch Splitsvilla? Or Roadies? You think you could stand watching MTV?"
Thank God I'm not a regular 16 year old.
I remember telling her once when she said I worked too much that someone had to do it. And she asked why it had to be me. And as I look back now I realize how many people have asked me that over the past few months. And I finally have an answer:
I've been waiting 16 years for someone to start. And I haven't seen anyone taking up the cause. If I don't, someone else might do so. But then again, they might not. That's a risk I refuse to take. Some things have to be done guys. And if no one's doing them. I must. And so I will.
Swaying silently into the night,
-Mehta.
And she asked me, as I was listing the things I could do if I were 'normal' (Playing cricket every everyday. Be in a band and actually be able to practice etc. etc.), "Aakash, you really think you could watch Splitsvilla? Or Roadies? You think you could stand watching MTV?"
Thank God I'm not a regular 16 year old.
I remember telling her once when she said I worked too much that someone had to do it. And she asked why it had to be me. And as I look back now I realize how many people have asked me that over the past few months. And I finally have an answer:
I've been waiting 16 years for someone to start. And I haven't seen anyone taking up the cause. If I don't, someone else might do so. But then again, they might not. That's a risk I refuse to take. Some things have to be done guys. And if no one's doing them. I must. And so I will.
Swaying silently into the night,
-Mehta.
Lack of time.
I've been up to a lot of things.
Mainly everything related to F.A.R. (forarevolution.wordpress.com)
And I just wanted to apologize to everyone I've been putting off due to the work.
Sincere apologies guys. Sincere apologies.
Mainly everything related to F.A.R. (forarevolution.wordpress.com)
And I just wanted to apologize to everyone I've been putting off due to the work.
Sincere apologies guys. Sincere apologies.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Past Few Days...
No. I don't know why I keep writing here even though no one reads it...
Anyway...
Past few days have been pretty darn awesome. Last four have been... Well...
20 Hours Long. Each. Fuck. Crazy Shit Man!
Man...
Yesterday, this guy calls me up at fucking 4:30 AM and asks me which shade of white I want. SHADE OF FUCKING WHITE.
I can barely keep my eyes open...
Ah well...
So I performed with Namit today at his party. He got into Medical College so he threw one. Videos should be up soon.
I can say Very Very Proudly that Namit is one of the most awesome-ess people I've ever known.
Congrats Bro! You're The Shit man! You Are The Shit!(And for those of you that don't know, that's a good thing)
My friend Tyagi just showed me this video related to Israel and Lebanon. To be honest I, at this point. just don't give a fuck. We're in enough shit as it is man! Read an Arab newspaper and Israel is the terrorist. Read a Israeli newspaper and Gaza is infested with Muslim terrorists. I mean come on... We all know it right?
One man's hero is another man's terrorist yaar!
To Indians reading this, Boss, wake the fuck up. Look around you. We, as a nation have enough bullshit to deal with man. Try working on that instead of looking at the rest of the world and having opinions on how it works. Unless you're doing something, you don't have the right to complain about anything.
Seriously man!
*Sigh*
I need sleep. I'm getting cranky...
In other news...
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. A F.A.R meeting, the long awaited lunch with the band, college and other random stuff...
It's funny...
I performed Mad World today.
Don't even know how it went...
But it felt real good you know...
Performing with Namit on Drums and me one Vocals and Piano...
Fun shit man!
I think that's enough of an update on what's going on and enough of an opinion on anything...
Catch you guys later man!
Adios!
Anyway...
Past few days have been pretty darn awesome. Last four have been... Well...
20 Hours Long. Each. Fuck. Crazy Shit Man!
Man...
Yesterday, this guy calls me up at fucking 4:30 AM and asks me which shade of white I want. SHADE OF FUCKING WHITE.
I can barely keep my eyes open...
Ah well...
So I performed with Namit today at his party. He got into Medical College so he threw one. Videos should be up soon.
I can say Very Very Proudly that Namit is one of the most awesome-ess people I've ever known.
Congrats Bro! You're The Shit man! You Are The Shit!(And for those of you that don't know, that's a good thing)
My friend Tyagi just showed me this video related to Israel and Lebanon. To be honest I, at this point. just don't give a fuck. We're in enough shit as it is man! Read an Arab newspaper and Israel is the terrorist. Read a Israeli newspaper and Gaza is infested with Muslim terrorists. I mean come on... We all know it right?
One man's hero is another man's terrorist yaar!
To Indians reading this, Boss, wake the fuck up. Look around you. We, as a nation have enough bullshit to deal with man. Try working on that instead of looking at the rest of the world and having opinions on how it works. Unless you're doing something, you don't have the right to complain about anything.
Seriously man!
*Sigh*
I need sleep. I'm getting cranky...
In other news...
I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. A F.A.R meeting, the long awaited lunch with the band, college and other random stuff...
It's funny...
I performed Mad World today.
Don't even know how it went...
But it felt real good you know...
Performing with Namit on Drums and me one Vocals and Piano...
Fun shit man!
I think that's enough of an update on what's going on and enough of an opinion on anything...
Catch you guys later man!
Adios!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Getting back to rambling...
So I've been walking, listening to music, losing weight, listening to music, walking, writing songs, smiling goofy, smiling normal and...
Well yeah...
That's about all I've been up to...
Ummm...
Marine drive is amazing to walk at. But today I tried to sit near the tetrapod and stumbled upon a couple who seemed to be getting jiggy with it. I ran away. Other than that it was fun. Listened to some good music and wrote a few rhymes. The ocean was an unusual calm though...
That's weird. Very very weird...
Who knows what it's planning...
In other news...
I've lost weight! Ha! 1Kg down. Why am I excited? Do I no longer wish to be the Fat Man that Rambles? Is Aakash "The Fat Man" Mehta no longer a suitable name? Naw man! For reasons that are for a few to know, I am immnesly happy about it. So go along with it will ya?
I'm diving back into Death Cab For Cuite. Unbelievably beautiful lyrical imagery, witty, nice and what now. Just frggin great! I don't remember why their play count went low in the first place.
I'm sure Falak will have a totally unneeded reason for it. XD Give it to me Weird Beard!
For those of you that haven't heard 'em/of 'em, here's something to get you started...
Soul Meets Body, Expo '86, Photobooth, The Sound Of Settling, Marching Bands Of Manhattan, Title And Registration, Grapevine Fires, I Will Follow You Into The Dark, I Will Posses Your Heart (Listen to the radio edit if you're not into instrumentals cause it starts of with 4 mins of the stuff)
Listen to 'em at least thrice. Then make up your mind on them.
Those of you that have heard 'em/of 'em, listen to the one's above that you haven't already heard.
I love the lyrics man! AMAZING Lyrics!
As for me writing songs...
Man...
Feels nice to be able to write agian...
Just a little longer for dictator. I'll have the final out by...
Let's say about Saturday? I know I said Wednesday, but it seems that I do need THE conversation for it.
Why are you goofy smiling asked someone...
I goofy smiled in reply.
Why are you smiling asked someone...
I smiled in reply.
I fucking know Why I'm so fucking high man! If you wanna know..
Figure it out! It'll be fun! XD
Enough Rambled now...
Take good care now!
Well yeah...
That's about all I've been up to...
Ummm...
Marine drive is amazing to walk at. But today I tried to sit near the tetrapod and stumbled upon a couple who seemed to be getting jiggy with it. I ran away. Other than that it was fun. Listened to some good music and wrote a few rhymes. The ocean was an unusual calm though...
That's weird. Very very weird...
Who knows what it's planning...
In other news...
I've lost weight! Ha! 1Kg down. Why am I excited? Do I no longer wish to be the Fat Man that Rambles? Is Aakash "The Fat Man" Mehta no longer a suitable name? Naw man! For reasons that are for a few to know, I am immnesly happy about it. So go along with it will ya?
I'm diving back into Death Cab For Cuite. Unbelievably beautiful lyrical imagery, witty, nice and what now. Just frggin great! I don't remember why their play count went low in the first place.
I'm sure Falak will have a totally unneeded reason for it. XD Give it to me Weird Beard!
For those of you that haven't heard 'em/of 'em, here's something to get you started...
Soul Meets Body, Expo '86, Photobooth, The Sound Of Settling, Marching Bands Of Manhattan, Title And Registration, Grapevine Fires, I Will Follow You Into The Dark, I Will Posses Your Heart (Listen to the radio edit if you're not into instrumentals cause it starts of with 4 mins of the stuff)
Listen to 'em at least thrice. Then make up your mind on them.
Those of you that have heard 'em/of 'em, listen to the one's above that you haven't already heard.
I love the lyrics man! AMAZING Lyrics!
As for me writing songs...
Man...
Feels nice to be able to write agian...
Just a little longer for dictator. I'll have the final out by...
Let's say about Saturday? I know I said Wednesday, but it seems that I do need THE conversation for it.
Why are you goofy smiling asked someone...
I goofy smiled in reply.
Why are you smiling asked someone...
I smiled in reply.
I fucking know Why I'm so fucking high man! If you wanna know..
Figure it out! It'll be fun! XD
Enough Rambled now...
Take good care now!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Confection.
It's DONE!!!
Now if I could I'd be molecule of carbon,
In everything I'd lie and wait for you to call,
No I'm not into the music for the stardom,
I'd rather be down here and wait for you to fall.
Then maybe I could catch you,
Show you a direction,
To me I would attach you,
We'd be the best confection.
Ever.
Now if I could I'd be a cell that's grey in colour,
And you could use me every time you had a test,
And though compared to you I'd be the one that's smaller,
Love I promise you that I would be the best.
One to ever catch you,
Show you a direction,
To me I would attach you,
We'd be the best confection.
Ever.
Now if I could I'd be molecule of carbon,
In everything I'd lie and wait for you to call,
No I'm not into the music for the stardom,
I'd rather be down here and wait for you to call.
So I'll just stay awake and wait for you to call.
Now if I could I'd be molecule of carbon,
In everything I'd lie and wait for you to call,
No I'm not into the music for the stardom,
I'd rather be down here and wait for you to fall.
Then maybe I could catch you,
Show you a direction,
To me I would attach you,
We'd be the best confection.
Ever.
Now if I could I'd be a cell that's grey in colour,
And you could use me every time you had a test,
And though compared to you I'd be the one that's smaller,
Love I promise you that I would be the best.
One to ever catch you,
Show you a direction,
To me I would attach you,
We'd be the best confection.
Ever.
Now if I could I'd be molecule of carbon,
In everything I'd lie and wait for you to call,
No I'm not into the music for the stardom,
I'd rather be down here and wait for you to call.
So I'll just stay awake and wait for you to call.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Funny...
If everything could ever feel this real forever.
If anything could ever be this good all day.
The only thing I'll ever ask of you,
Gotta promise not to stop when I say when.
I actually feel this sometimes...
Funny...
If anything could ever be this good all day.
The only thing I'll ever ask of you,
Gotta promise not to stop when I say when.
I actually feel this sometimes...
Funny...
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Let's, Inspired By a Lady named Tyagi.
Thank You Shivangi. : )
Let's all go to Marine Drive. Let's have a day. Let's all sit and look at the waves some. Let's all look at me weird when I buy the 5 rupee tea. Let's just sit there and ponder and wonder about what life has been to us, what it is today, and what it'll be tomorrow. Let's just chill a little and hang out. Let's all go to Coffee Bean and sit there for hours and hours and talk about nothing in particular. Let's compliment the music and the décor and complain to one another about how the people working there somehow always forget to wish us, "Good morning! Welcome to Coffee Bean!" even though it's 6PM. Let's all go for a movie. And pass comments all throughout. Let's fight over which actor is the hottest. Let's buy us some Caramel popcorn. Let's just sit at home and listen to The Killers or the Beatles or Death Cab For Cutie. Let's sing along to every song we know. Let's jam some. For like 5 hours a day. Let's just fool around with our instruments till music is born. Let's just smile and look at each other when someone else says something. Let's have an inside joke to a lot of things. Let's disturb people in restaurants with our laughing. Let's have some fun. Let's just sit and not say a word. Just say nothing at all. Let's have a comfortable silence. Let's all go to Marine Drive. Let's have a day...
Let's all go to Marine Drive. Let's have a day. Let's all sit and look at the waves some. Let's all look at me weird when I buy the 5 rupee tea. Let's just sit there and ponder and wonder about what life has been to us, what it is today, and what it'll be tomorrow. Let's just chill a little and hang out. Let's all go to Coffee Bean and sit there for hours and hours and talk about nothing in particular. Let's compliment the music and the décor and complain to one another about how the people working there somehow always forget to wish us, "Good morning! Welcome to Coffee Bean!" even though it's 6PM. Let's all go for a movie. And pass comments all throughout. Let's fight over which actor is the hottest. Let's buy us some Caramel popcorn. Let's just sit at home and listen to The Killers or the Beatles or Death Cab For Cutie. Let's sing along to every song we know. Let's jam some. For like 5 hours a day. Let's just fool around with our instruments till music is born. Let's just smile and look at each other when someone else says something. Let's have an inside joke to a lot of things. Let's disturb people in restaurants with our laughing. Let's have some fun. Let's just sit and not say a word. Just say nothing at all. Let's have a comfortable silence. Let's all go to Marine Drive. Let's have a day...
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Master Card Ad I Thought Of.
Please do not take any of the below seriously. I'm just joking. I mean no offence to anyone. K? Anyone!
Buying that first copy of a religious text, Rs.800 Rupees.
Attending the local brainwashing center, Rs.6,000.
Going over to the closest training camp, Rs.50,000.
Decent quality RDX, Rs.45,000.
Screaming "DIE DIE DIE!!!" on a packed commercial airliner, Priceless.
There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else... :P
Buying that first copy of a religious text, Rs.800 Rupees.
Attending the local brainwashing center, Rs.6,000.
Going over to the closest training camp, Rs.50,000.
Decent quality RDX, Rs.45,000.
Screaming "DIE DIE DIE!!!" on a packed commercial airliner, Priceless.
There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else... :P
Monday, August 10, 2009
A short goodbye.
I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of missing out on the music. On the people. On the smiles. A little under the weather the last few days. Nothing to worry about. I'll bounce back. I think i'll have to pull out of the news paper thing. My doctor has ordered me to stop doing any and all extra-curricular activities except for music(since music has an unusual calming effect). The flow of music is better now. Oren Lavie and Foo Fighters are keeping me well above the "Breakdown" Line.
Wanted to ask everyone to please take care. H1N1's spreading real fast. Please take care of yourselves. I don't want any of you sick. Ok? If you're not feeling well visit a doctor immediately. There's Viral going around in Mumbai as well. Plus climate's a little haywire these days. So just take care.
Still looking for that magical conversation as well... The one I need to finish dictator. Man! So many people who could give me that conversation. But I need to get better acquainted with them to have it.
Looking forward to meeting some people for lunch this Friday. Looking forward to Thursday too. : ).
Nothing else to report really... Oh yeah... One thing...
So you know Everlong... The song I'm hooked to? The chorus goes like:
And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
:D Man. I actually wonder that once in a while. Man! :) Yay!
Song In My Mind: Everlong by Foo Fighters, Short Goodbye by Oren Lavie and Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie. Give 'em a listen. Lemme know...
Wanted to ask everyone to please take care. H1N1's spreading real fast. Please take care of yourselves. I don't want any of you sick. Ok? If you're not feeling well visit a doctor immediately. There's Viral going around in Mumbai as well. Plus climate's a little haywire these days. So just take care.
Still looking for that magical conversation as well... The one I need to finish dictator. Man! So many people who could give me that conversation. But I need to get better acquainted with them to have it.
Looking forward to meeting some people for lunch this Friday. Looking forward to Thursday too. : ).
Nothing else to report really... Oh yeah... One thing...
So you know Everlong... The song I'm hooked to? The chorus goes like:
And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
:D Man. I actually wonder that once in a while. Man! :) Yay!
Song In My Mind: Everlong by Foo Fighters, Short Goodbye by Oren Lavie and Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie. Give 'em a listen. Lemme know...
Sunday, August 9, 2009
A bit of a situation...
It's happening... Just as I figured it would... Dammit. So college started and it seems that the changes have started as well. There's an energetic and chilled out fellow named Mehta in college that turns tired and kinda bitter as soon as he gets home. It seems like I'm just tired of people... Music.. .Ah music... I'm so fuckin starved of music these days. I want more. No. I NEED more music to keep me going.. Man. It fees so surreal. So fucking surreal. It's better than anything else. The names of some people in college keep ringing in my head. No. No romantic interests! Friends. I have a good feeling about some of the people I've met. Personalities I'm dying to dive and delve into man! Fucking brilliant personalities! But then again... Maybe I'm just too excited. On the home front things are that good. tired bitter Mehta is no fucking good. Nothing makes me less tired. I'm just too exhausted to give a fuck about most stuff... Which creates a problem. Conversations aren't conversations any more. They don't make any sense somehow man... They're just not as fun... Mainly because both of us seem kinda irritated with it all... Who am I talking about? Well a friend and I... Other than that... Nothing really is up...
We had Fusion eliminations today. I don't know if we'll get through... It wasn't all that good. Jai Hind, IIT Powai fusion guys... RESPECT man. Respect. That was some of the best music I've heard by amateur musicians in well... Forever. AMAZING stuff! I know for a fact that if we qualify, we're gonna have to work our asses off just to get to the level these guys are on right now...
Songs on my mind right now: Everlong by Foo Fighters and Everlong by Foo Fighters. I can't help it. It's just one of those songs. I love that song. Hear it once... Lemme know... :)
We had Fusion eliminations today. I don't know if we'll get through... It wasn't all that good. Jai Hind, IIT Powai fusion guys... RESPECT man. Respect. That was some of the best music I've heard by amateur musicians in well... Forever. AMAZING stuff! I know for a fact that if we qualify, we're gonna have to work our asses off just to get to the level these guys are on right now...
Songs on my mind right now: Everlong by Foo Fighters and Everlong by Foo Fighters. I can't help it. It's just one of those songs. I love that song. Hear it once... Lemme know... :)
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Timepass ranting... The crazy talk of a 16 year old.
NOTE: This is possibly a piece of fiction.
Why do I need a reason? Why? Why do I need to know how it ticks? I can't take the fact that I don't know. I can't take the fact that I want to know. It's pathetic really. Living a life, not knowing your purpose and being aware of the fact. Wanting to know it so badly. I've always thought I'd find somewhere that I belonged. When I go quite, I know it all to well. At fist. But as always I reach the point where I must question where I belong. Being alone and quite is just fine. But a part of me can't help but long for a place where I belong. Somewhere I can just be loved for who I am and what I am. And I know I've always had it. Home. My Buddies. But something inside just won't get filled man. A thirst for comfort which is just so difficult to quench. No... It's almost impossible to quench. I feel cold again. Ha! I miss Shivangi today... Dunno why... But somehow whenever I talk to her it gets warm again... There are people that once made it all warm... A sense of love that filled that spot of loneliness in me. But it always goes away. Maybe because Aakash Mehta in his core value is no good. I fit into no cliché. No group. No set. And though all of us (humans) are just as unique it stings that I just can't feel like I belong anywhere. Why dammit? Why? It all looks quite futile sometimes. As if I should just give it up. Quit trying and be myself. But I am myself. Or am I? Am I subconsciously just trying to be something else? All I try to do is be true to myself. But somehow it just doesn't work. “Who am I kidding” I'm forced to ask myself every now an then. And I don't know. Because I don't think I'm kidding anyone at all. I study and practice everyday. But at the end of it all it's still as if I'm lying to myself. I don't even know why...
What am I supposed to be here dammit! Am I but a plaything for the Gods to watch and laugh at? Is it funny in the grand scheme of things how lost at sea I sometimes feel? Is it humorous that I run into a solid brick wall every time I'm close to finding something acceptable out? Is it a good show to watch me get knocked down and get back up every fucking time? Honestly! Someone tell me! Where's that calm voice that says “It'll be alright” ? Why doesn't the music say it'll all be fine? Why Am I listening to the most bitter-sweet piece I know over and over again? Why is that all that gives me comfort man! WHY? Fuck! Maybe it's something I should just give up on. Any I know that I eventually will. But it'll be back in my mind again. And I'll write something of this sort again.
Am I supposed to be but an observer? Just watch the show as it unfolds. Observe everything including myself as I go through my ups and downs and sigh and smile and say “life” at the end of it all? It makes sense. I feel like running away sometimes. Behind a one way glass where I can just look at people without every interfering with their lives. Without wasting their time.
I wish I'd stop breaking things down you know. I love it. But I just can't take it sometimes. How do you break something that knocks you off your feet every time you listen to it? I want to be killed by it all once. I don't want to disassemble everything and figure out how to deal with it. I want to not understand. I want to breakdown and cry for a while myself instead of looking at someone and, while helping them back up, observing and calculating and taking notes in my head. It's so disgusting. I'm so disgusting. I'm pathetic. I want to be simple. I don't want parts to myself. I miss when I didn't think. I miss not being able to control my emotions.
I explain things to myself you know. Every now and then. Whenever something fucked up occurs. Every time I fall I explain it all to myself. “Mehta, you're a grown up now. You can't cry over it. Understand man. It's human nature. That's how people are. It's ok.” And it is right? Right? I don't even know. But I don't have a choice. What will happen if I do let myself fall? Will I ever be able to speak to the person concerned? Will I ever let them know? Of course not. What's the point na... When I tell someone they hurt me they might just feel bad. Plus whenever I've asked for closure in the past, it's all been promptly denied.
I feel lighter now. But not for long. The song just reached that point where says it all. When It's my life in about a minute worth of music. It reminds me again. I wish someone would come and turn it off and just slap me to snap me out of it all. I'm weak. Too weak to handle this. So fucking retarded to ever think that I'd pull this off. Being myself is no good. I want to run away. I want to be the little baby again. The one that' taken care of. That looks at it all with wonder. Not understanding. That feels how he feels. But enough of this I can't take this anymore. I'm shutting this song. These words will be published. Somewhere. And I will hope and pray, yes pray (for myself once) that someone that knows it all will come to the rescue of the fellow that always tries to be the one to rescue. I need help man. Please don't try to if you don't have time. Don't waste time over this guy. I'm pretty pathetic. But...
FUCK! Yes. I need help. I'm in deep shit. Don't waste your time on me but help me. Contradictory? Yes. But I need a hug and the “Everything will be fine bacha” that I end up giving to so many people all the time. I need someone to convince me that everything will be allright.
Why do I need a reason? Why? Why do I need to know how it ticks? I can't take the fact that I don't know. I can't take the fact that I want to know. It's pathetic really. Living a life, not knowing your purpose and being aware of the fact. Wanting to know it so badly. I've always thought I'd find somewhere that I belonged. When I go quite, I know it all to well. At fist. But as always I reach the point where I must question where I belong. Being alone and quite is just fine. But a part of me can't help but long for a place where I belong. Somewhere I can just be loved for who I am and what I am. And I know I've always had it. Home. My Buddies. But something inside just won't get filled man. A thirst for comfort which is just so difficult to quench. No... It's almost impossible to quench. I feel cold again. Ha! I miss Shivangi today... Dunno why... But somehow whenever I talk to her it gets warm again... There are people that once made it all warm... A sense of love that filled that spot of loneliness in me. But it always goes away. Maybe because Aakash Mehta in his core value is no good. I fit into no cliché. No group. No set. And though all of us (humans) are just as unique it stings that I just can't feel like I belong anywhere. Why dammit? Why? It all looks quite futile sometimes. As if I should just give it up. Quit trying and be myself. But I am myself. Or am I? Am I subconsciously just trying to be something else? All I try to do is be true to myself. But somehow it just doesn't work. “Who am I kidding” I'm forced to ask myself every now an then. And I don't know. Because I don't think I'm kidding anyone at all. I study and practice everyday. But at the end of it all it's still as if I'm lying to myself. I don't even know why...
What am I supposed to be here dammit! Am I but a plaything for the Gods to watch and laugh at? Is it funny in the grand scheme of things how lost at sea I sometimes feel? Is it humorous that I run into a solid brick wall every time I'm close to finding something acceptable out? Is it a good show to watch me get knocked down and get back up every fucking time? Honestly! Someone tell me! Where's that calm voice that says “It'll be alright” ? Why doesn't the music say it'll all be fine? Why Am I listening to the most bitter-sweet piece I know over and over again? Why is that all that gives me comfort man! WHY? Fuck! Maybe it's something I should just give up on. Any I know that I eventually will. But it'll be back in my mind again. And I'll write something of this sort again.
Am I supposed to be but an observer? Just watch the show as it unfolds. Observe everything including myself as I go through my ups and downs and sigh and smile and say “life” at the end of it all? It makes sense. I feel like running away sometimes. Behind a one way glass where I can just look at people without every interfering with their lives. Without wasting their time.
I wish I'd stop breaking things down you know. I love it. But I just can't take it sometimes. How do you break something that knocks you off your feet every time you listen to it? I want to be killed by it all once. I don't want to disassemble everything and figure out how to deal with it. I want to not understand. I want to breakdown and cry for a while myself instead of looking at someone and, while helping them back up, observing and calculating and taking notes in my head. It's so disgusting. I'm so disgusting. I'm pathetic. I want to be simple. I don't want parts to myself. I miss when I didn't think. I miss not being able to control my emotions.
I explain things to myself you know. Every now and then. Whenever something fucked up occurs. Every time I fall I explain it all to myself. “Mehta, you're a grown up now. You can't cry over it. Understand man. It's human nature. That's how people are. It's ok.” And it is right? Right? I don't even know. But I don't have a choice. What will happen if I do let myself fall? Will I ever be able to speak to the person concerned? Will I ever let them know? Of course not. What's the point na... When I tell someone they hurt me they might just feel bad. Plus whenever I've asked for closure in the past, it's all been promptly denied.
I feel lighter now. But not for long. The song just reached that point where says it all. When It's my life in about a minute worth of music. It reminds me again. I wish someone would come and turn it off and just slap me to snap me out of it all. I'm weak. Too weak to handle this. So fucking retarded to ever think that I'd pull this off. Being myself is no good. I want to run away. I want to be the little baby again. The one that' taken care of. That looks at it all with wonder. Not understanding. That feels how he feels. But enough of this I can't take this anymore. I'm shutting this song. These words will be published. Somewhere. And I will hope and pray, yes pray (for myself once) that someone that knows it all will come to the rescue of the fellow that always tries to be the one to rescue. I need help man. Please don't try to if you don't have time. Don't waste time over this guy. I'm pretty pathetic. But...
FUCK! Yes. I need help. I'm in deep shit. Don't waste your time on me but help me. Contradictory? Yes. But I need a hug and the “Everything will be fine bacha” that I end up giving to so many people all the time. I need someone to convince me that everything will be allright.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
First Day Of College
Decent...
What? What more do you want? Good Shit Man. Just like H.R is supposed to be. Kick Ass!
Apologies to all those that think I'm down and depressed. I've just gone quite for some time. Don't show much excitement for anything...
Anyway...
CODE, CHOICE, Young Minds...
Get Ready. Here Comes Mehta!
What? What more do you want? Good Shit Man. Just like H.R is supposed to be. Kick Ass!
Apologies to all those that think I'm down and depressed. I've just gone quite for some time. Don't show much excitement for anything...
Anyway...
CODE, CHOICE, Young Minds...
Get Ready. Here Comes Mehta!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Funny
It's funny you know... How politicians manage to fool so many of us into believing their hollow lies.
It's funny you know... How sometimes what seems like the end of the world unds up being but a ripple in the pond that is life.
It's funny you know...
My father wished to be an astrophysicist. But his father said to him "Be practical, son. Your children need a comfortable future." So he listened and he worked. He gave up the dream. My father's son wished to become a physicist too. But my father said to him though in a much more subtle manner, "Be practical, son. Your children need a comfortable future.". So his son gave up his dreams.
It's funny you know...
My aunt and uncle have a fellow who's been working at their home for over 6 years or so now. His son has a hole in his heart. He's been brought to Bombay for the surgery. His son is a sweetheart. An angel sent down from heaven. His smile. His smile makes me smile. It's just the wonderful thing in the world. I haven't even met him. I just saw him sitting in a room playing with his toy robot.We saw one another and the only reaction I could think of was a smile. And he smiled back. I love that child.
Funny...
Funny how when you're a child the world is just so huge and full of wonder. It still is to some extent... But that serene touch of innocence has been replaced. At least for me. Not something I complain about. But maturity comes with it's set of problems. Being a child though... : ) Remember how everything was just physical environment? Everything was to be climbed on, played on, hung from... Even people! Ha! : )
It's just so funny you know...
How when I ask my aunt if she wants to go have coffee she realizes immediately that there's something wrong... Feels good that someone has so much love for me. Funny how love always feels so damn good...
Funny how my big brother doubles perfectly as my 'Bestest' friend in the whole wide world. One of 6 of course. But 'Bestest' nonetheless. We're 7 years apart. 7. And we're great!
And it just seems so funny to me somehow...
The world's so full of wonder.
But what's funniest is this...
I write so much here. Speak of things that I rarely talk about...
But no one reads it. And I know it. And I write some more. : )
Funny right?
: )
It's funny you know... How sometimes what seems like the end of the world unds up being but a ripple in the pond that is life.
It's funny you know...
My father wished to be an astrophysicist. But his father said to him "Be practical, son. Your children need a comfortable future." So he listened and he worked. He gave up the dream. My father's son wished to become a physicist too. But my father said to him though in a much more subtle manner, "Be practical, son. Your children need a comfortable future.". So his son gave up his dreams.
It's funny you know...
My aunt and uncle have a fellow who's been working at their home for over 6 years or so now. His son has a hole in his heart. He's been brought to Bombay for the surgery. His son is a sweetheart. An angel sent down from heaven. His smile. His smile makes me smile. It's just the wonderful thing in the world. I haven't even met him. I just saw him sitting in a room playing with his toy robot.We saw one another and the only reaction I could think of was a smile. And he smiled back. I love that child.
Funny...
Funny how when you're a child the world is just so huge and full of wonder. It still is to some extent... But that serene touch of innocence has been replaced. At least for me. Not something I complain about. But maturity comes with it's set of problems. Being a child though... : ) Remember how everything was just physical environment? Everything was to be climbed on, played on, hung from... Even people! Ha! : )
It's just so funny you know...
How when I ask my aunt if she wants to go have coffee she realizes immediately that there's something wrong... Feels good that someone has so much love for me. Funny how love always feels so damn good...
Funny how my big brother doubles perfectly as my 'Bestest' friend in the whole wide world. One of 6 of course. But 'Bestest' nonetheless. We're 7 years apart. 7. And we're great!
And it just seems so funny to me somehow...
The world's so full of wonder.
But what's funniest is this...
I write so much here. Speak of things that I rarely talk about...
But no one reads it. And I know it. And I write some more. : )
Funny right?
: )
Monday, July 27, 2009
That life in slow motion.
It's so much more quite this way. Except for people of course. People make so much noise. Too much noise. We're all so busy with our lives that we tend to forget how much noise we'v been making. Things move so much slower...
The cue ball takes it's time hitting the stripe ball and it does just just with enough force to hit the border of the table, bounce off and hit a solid ball with enough force in the right direction to make it come into contact with another stripe ball that uses the transfer of momentum to enter the pot. All in less than 2 seconds. I smile as I watch it all happen and realize the beauty of it as my friends cheer the perfect shot my cousin just made.
A five layer Jack Johnson song plays on the computer. One layer each for the vocals, bass guitar, acoustic lead guitar, drums and piano. The piano is rarely heard though. With all five layers perfectly arranged I can imagine how they've all been played together. Sounds played in a specific manner to sound good. Sounds. :) Sounds. Funny how they manage to mean so much sometimes.
My bedroom door just opened. Noise. People. I don't like people much. Back to it all.
I see a child walk alongside his father at Marine Drive. The father, being taller walks at an easy pace enjoying the breeze and the sound of the waves. His son on the other hand, almost runs to keep up. Shorter legs. He has to move them faster to keep up. No wonder children have so much energy packed into them. I like children. They're not people. They're miniature versions of them. Miniature versions that normally make so much noise.
I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes have sunk deep into their cavities. They look tired. I look exhausted. Sleep deprived. Sick. I see the culmination of years of abusing my body by not sleeping, pushing myself physically and just not giving a damn about myself in general. I smile. It's been worth it. It's always been worth it. For this moment in time. As I look into my eyes and see my life rewind and play again, as I look at my past, realize my present and imagine my future I do what I do so rarely. I sigh and I smile. The kind of sigh and smile you sigh and smile at the end of a long, difficult but satisfying day. Except it sums up everything since a long long time ago. And you know what's funny? It's all in slow motion.
I hope things stay this way a little longer... I really do. :)
The cue ball takes it's time hitting the stripe ball and it does just just with enough force to hit the border of the table, bounce off and hit a solid ball with enough force in the right direction to make it come into contact with another stripe ball that uses the transfer of momentum to enter the pot. All in less than 2 seconds. I smile as I watch it all happen and realize the beauty of it as my friends cheer the perfect shot my cousin just made.
A five layer Jack Johnson song plays on the computer. One layer each for the vocals, bass guitar, acoustic lead guitar, drums and piano. The piano is rarely heard though. With all five layers perfectly arranged I can imagine how they've all been played together. Sounds played in a specific manner to sound good. Sounds. :) Sounds. Funny how they manage to mean so much sometimes.
My bedroom door just opened. Noise. People. I don't like people much. Back to it all.
I see a child walk alongside his father at Marine Drive. The father, being taller walks at an easy pace enjoying the breeze and the sound of the waves. His son on the other hand, almost runs to keep up. Shorter legs. He has to move them faster to keep up. No wonder children have so much energy packed into them. I like children. They're not people. They're miniature versions of them. Miniature versions that normally make so much noise.
I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes have sunk deep into their cavities. They look tired. I look exhausted. Sleep deprived. Sick. I see the culmination of years of abusing my body by not sleeping, pushing myself physically and just not giving a damn about myself in general. I smile. It's been worth it. It's always been worth it. For this moment in time. As I look into my eyes and see my life rewind and play again, as I look at my past, realize my present and imagine my future I do what I do so rarely. I sigh and I smile. The kind of sigh and smile you sigh and smile at the end of a long, difficult but satisfying day. Except it sums up everything since a long long time ago. And you know what's funny? It's all in slow motion.
I hope things stay this way a little longer... I really do. :)
Sunday, July 26, 2009
My Three Decisions of 26/7/09
NOTE: This may or may not me fictional. Enjoy guessing!
It seems that I've taken a few decisions. 3 to be precise. And though they are decisions that should've been made and put into effect a long time ago they've been a long time coming. And as I sit here writing this, it seems that they've finally come. They probably don't make much sense right now but hell, I don't expect most people to get what I'm saying. In fact, I hardly ever do. But anyway... For those of you who will understand and help me through them and for those of you that might wish to give the old brain-bug a little jog I present to you My Three Decisions of 26/7/09:
1. Shut down the old emotional sector for a while. Feelings tend to get into the way.
2. Never let anyone venture too much into my mind. No matter how close they may be. It's a cold, dark place. Even I'm afraid of what's in there.
3. Go quite for a while. No. Not Mars any more. Escapism is the birthplace of so many of the issues so many people face. It shall not be the birthplace of any of mine. From now on I go quite on earth.
I hope this pulls through...
It seems that I've taken a few decisions. 3 to be precise. And though they are decisions that should've been made and put into effect a long time ago they've been a long time coming. And as I sit here writing this, it seems that they've finally come. They probably don't make much sense right now but hell, I don't expect most people to get what I'm saying. In fact, I hardly ever do. But anyway... For those of you who will understand and help me through them and for those of you that might wish to give the old brain-bug a little jog I present to you My Three Decisions of 26/7/09:
1. Shut down the old emotional sector for a while. Feelings tend to get into the way.
2. Never let anyone venture too much into my mind. No matter how close they may be. It's a cold, dark place. Even I'm afraid of what's in there.
3. Go quite for a while. No. Not Mars any more. Escapism is the birthplace of so many of the issues so many people face. It shall not be the birthplace of any of mine. From now on I go quite on earth.
I hope this pulls through...
Thursday, July 23, 2009
An announcement of sorts...
I was walking on marine drive today. Waves would bring in trash from the sea. Give it back to man. There was so much of it. And the BMC people struggled to clean it all up. But every time they'd try the waves would just bring back more. So much rubbish in the sea. And there aren't even any dustbins there! At least not before the Metro bridge! It'll change though. Yup! F.A.R will change it. We're going to make sure to reduce the throwing of rubbish into the sea as much as we can! We have plans! They'll be up on the blog in no time too! You just wait! Things Will Get Better. They Always Do. Not Because They Have To But Because We Make Them So. Just As We, As Humans, Manage To Spoil Things In The First Place, We Do Make Them Better. I Will Make My Marine Drive Better. Will You Join Me?
Ask me about it at forarevolution@gmail.com . We have the answers.
Ask me about it at forarevolution@gmail.com . We have the answers.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tell Me Tell Me!
Do you think I'm tensed all the time? No seriously. I Need to know. So lemme know will ya? Please. Cause I don't think I'm THAT tensed!
I mean yeah there's the constant battle with myself and the physical pain... But that's little to worry about... I mean It's all in a days work for the Fat Man yaar!
Ah well...
Lemme know yaar. I don't wanna be all tensed...
I mean yeah there's the constant battle with myself and the physical pain... But that's little to worry about... I mean It's all in a days work for the Fat Man yaar!
Ah well...
Lemme know yaar. I don't wanna be all tensed...
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Angry Angry Ranting.
Can somebody please just explain to me where the mute button is? Dammit! I'm tired of this! Too much noise! People shouting and screaming and shouting and screaming and urgh! Enough! Seriously! There was a time when people made life worth living. Lately they're just a pain in the ass. And you know what pisses me off the most about it all? I can't even be angry at them! I'm just out of anger! It's just disappointing man! To the point where I think it's most logical to say that those lines from that song were correct. “The more I see the less I know the more I'd like to let it go.” The only thing that makes any sense is the Music. The Music is all that ever should've been. People just fuck everything up.
I mean is it really a crime to have an IQ of over 110? Is an old age where we're more or less senile what we have to go through life for? Is is wrong to wait and hope for something happen? Is this seriously what the world is like? And don't friggin tell me to look at the bright side. Don't any of you DARE do that! Bright side my ass! The only reason we move forward is because we have no choice. Progression due to compulsion. Nothing else. There's no real bright side. Or maybe there is. Maybe. But it's just so hard to see!
Sigh... Not like I can do much else than rant. “Ah well...” is what I'll say at the end of this ordeal and just accept that things just don't work out most of the time for me. Fuck it.
Signing Out,
Mehta.
I mean is it really a crime to have an IQ of over 110? Is an old age where we're more or less senile what we have to go through life for? Is is wrong to wait and hope for something happen? Is this seriously what the world is like? And don't friggin tell me to look at the bright side. Don't any of you DARE do that! Bright side my ass! The only reason we move forward is because we have no choice. Progression due to compulsion. Nothing else. There's no real bright side. Or maybe there is. Maybe. But it's just so hard to see!
Sigh... Not like I can do much else than rant. “Ah well...” is what I'll say at the end of this ordeal and just accept that things just don't work out most of the time for me. Fuck it.
Signing Out,
Mehta.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
F.A.R, Sydenham, Someone Special!
F.A.R meetings are seriously tough shit man! Specially when I'm doing two a day! Today we had a project meeting which turned into a general meeting. Then we were supposed to have one big Introductory for Cathedralites. Jimmy didn't pull through! Can you fucking believe that! Bugger doesn't even call and tell me! Why am I so pissed? I had 3 members assigned interviews waiting. That's My people's time wasted. Not cool man. Not cool. But anyway.. .Work was done. That's all that matters.
In other news, I'm now officially a Sydenhamite. Yup. Got the ID card and everything. But HR management list comes out Tuesday. So let's see what happens... But at least I have a college now. It's funny though... As soon as I got my ID card, I was told to prepare myself for a tabla solo for Malhar or Umang or something! Can you believe it! Sheesh! It's good in a way though. At least I'll start practicing more seriously.... Oh yeah, for those of you who don't know, Malhar and Uman are two inter-college festivals. Crazy shit right?
Other than that, feels good to have met someone today. :D Yup! Met her! Haha! Man... Felt kind of relieved. Though I wouldn't mind having some more time. But then that's me being the hopeless romantic. Hope we can speak for some time today. Haven't spoken to her like the old days in forever. Ah well.. .I guess I'll have to live with it...
In other news, I'm now officially a Sydenhamite. Yup. Got the ID card and everything. But HR management list comes out Tuesday. So let's see what happens... But at least I have a college now. It's funny though... As soon as I got my ID card, I was told to prepare myself for a tabla solo for Malhar or Umang or something! Can you believe it! Sheesh! It's good in a way though. At least I'll start practicing more seriously.... Oh yeah, for those of you who don't know, Malhar and Uman are two inter-college festivals. Crazy shit right?
Other than that, feels good to have met someone today. :D Yup! Met her! Haha! Man... Felt kind of relieved. Though I wouldn't mind having some more time. But then that's me being the hopeless romantic. Hope we can speak for some time today. Haven't spoken to her like the old days in forever. Ah well.. .I guess I'll have to live with it...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Pool, Flipflops, Grandma!
For those of you that don't already know, I like playing pool. I like playing pool a lot. And one person I always enjoy playing pool with is Aum, Or Aum Bhai as we like to call him. He's pretty good at it too. We play at this little place called New York Cafe or Cafe New York or whatever it's called (We just call it Yorks and it ends up being called Yoks) and every time we go there Aum wants to play an LP with someone or the other. LP being Losers Pay. Which is fine if you're good and are going to win. But we rarely find someone that's at our level or below it to play with. Today we meet these two guys that definitely suck. And Aum asks me if we want to try a LP. I don't mind. So we get to kicking their asses. All we have by 5 minutes of the first game is the eight ball. The other two are fuck scared cause we're so good! And them Aum Pots the 8 ball in the wrong fucking pot! And I'm like yeah, that's fine. Shit happens. So we play another LP. And he does the same thing again! Bugger just can't play under pressure! Urgh! But it's ok. Though I do get really pissed at him something pulls me out of it. A phone call. Bai, our maid that's been with the family since before mom and dad were even married calls up and says that my Agiba (Nani/Mom's Mom/Grandma and what not) just fell and can't get up. Now she tends o fall once in a while. It isn't very rare. But she was in the hospital for a week recently because of an infection in her foot. So I run home. Home's about 15 minutes of walking from Yorks. I eventually make it in less than ten. But I'm fucking running home in a pair of flipflops! Fucking Bata Sunshine Chappals man! Those aren't meant for running! Specially for someone like me! I can't fuckin run much as it is! Sticky dirty water makes it even harder. So halfway I just take 'em off and run home. Ended up falling like 5 times when I had the chappals on! But I made it. And what do I find? Agiba's just fine! She's chilling on the sofa! See what happened is, Bai didn't call mom. She called me. She was panicking. I called mom. Mom called people in the building. But I was kept out of the loop till much later. Anyway... My aching feet weren't much of a problem. My Nani was fine. I was relieved! Fuck My Life? No Way! Who ever gets an excuse to run barefoot in Mumbai no matter how dirty it may seem! Haha!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
R.H.S Dude!
Restless Heart Syndrome says Jimmy. Funny. It's the first time someone's used that term to describe me and I can only smile as I agree to him. It's true. I do have it. A Restless Heart.
Yes. There's a girl. Though isn't there always? Her name's her name. And she's pretty fucking awesome! And I haven't gotten the chance to speak to her all friggin day! You know how fucked up that is? It fucks with my head man! I'm not really much of a fan of this particular feeling. This restlessness. This need to speak to someone. To hear their voice. To see them smile and then smile right back even though you're on the phone with them. But to be honest, it feels good to have it. Cause eventually I will speak to her and it'll all be better again! Man! Crazy Shit!
Yes. There's a girl. Though isn't there always? Her name's her name. And she's pretty fucking awesome! And I haven't gotten the chance to speak to her all friggin day! You know how fucked up that is? It fucks with my head man! I'm not really much of a fan of this particular feeling. This restlessness. This need to speak to someone. To hear their voice. To see them smile and then smile right back even though you're on the phone with them. But to be honest, it feels good to have it. Cause eventually I will speak to her and it'll all be better again! Man! Crazy Shit!
The Fall
What do you when you're fuck tired at Bluefrog with some friggin AWESOME music?
You write 'The Fall'... A Work in progress. Something I thought I'd share...
Five straight days of being wide awake. Two hours of sleep. Enter bluefrog. I'm at the edge of myself and I'm pretty fucking sure I'm going to collapse and fall into an insignificant end if only to be reborn once more just as insignificantly. But some thing's holding me back. A thin piece of laundry twine that should've snapped long ago. This shouldn't be happening. But fuck, it's happening all the same. Damn. I need a... Fuck! What do I need? What do I need? What do I- Dammit! Sleep! It's just some sleep. That's all I need. Sleep, Yeah... Fuck! Did I just get closer to the fall? A seconds hand just ticked. Time just happened. It isn't sleep. Another second just happened. And another. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! This isn't cool. Time's happening again. No. This shouldn't happen! No. Please! No! I'm about to fall. I can't fall! I can't take it anymore. My weight's too much for my feet. My knees buckle My heart struggles to beat now. My breathing's labored. Here I go again. The collapse. And just as I'm about to lose consciousness only to regain it some time later I wake up. A dream. It was only a dream! Thank Go-. There's just one way to describe what happens now. Just one word. The Fall.
Yes. It's dark and twisted. Cool Right? XD
You write 'The Fall'... A Work in progress. Something I thought I'd share...
Five straight days of being wide awake. Two hours of sleep. Enter bluefrog. I'm at the edge of myself and I'm pretty fucking sure I'm going to collapse and fall into an insignificant end if only to be reborn once more just as insignificantly. But some thing's holding me back. A thin piece of laundry twine that should've snapped long ago. This shouldn't be happening. But fuck, it's happening all the same. Damn. I need a... Fuck! What do I need? What do I need? What do I- Dammit! Sleep! It's just some sleep. That's all I need. Sleep, Yeah... Fuck! Did I just get closer to the fall? A seconds hand just ticked. Time just happened. It isn't sleep. Another second just happened. And another. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! This isn't cool. Time's happening again. No. This shouldn't happen! No. Please! No! I'm about to fall. I can't fall! I can't take it anymore. My weight's too much for my feet. My knees buckle My heart struggles to beat now. My breathing's labored. Here I go again. The collapse. And just as I'm about to lose consciousness only to regain it some time later I wake up. A dream. It was only a dream! Thank Go-. There's just one way to describe what happens now. Just one word. The Fall.
Yes. It's dark and twisted. Cool Right? XD
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